Jordan Rains - Confessions of an Asshole lyrics

I'm still in this world, going nowhere Days from the past brought my worst nightmares What I desired is not what I've got To make you mine I've f**ing fought A thousand wars inside my head Sometimes you live, sometimes I'm dead I could make words rhyme but for not too long Do I belong here? My thoughts were gone I forced myself onto every drug I saw Even drugged some s*uts to get along with 'em sh**! You're gone and I'm still alone And I miss your calls, once it kept me ON Even now your voice thrills me much In the way you fill the heat, you heal my heart Even now, your touch shrills me and Takes me high and then splits me up Pours hope in my soul and lightening lit me. I'm No one without you. I'm afraid of heights For then I have further to fall. I yearn to hear you call And then you are the voice I hear on nights and I am Back from the dead like the knight of light I see the brighter side. You were the blight I had This ain't no time to fight. So, let us make this right Alright? You are the one I see as my wright You made me believe I can also write But then most of times you would false a smile And spoke altered lies and then closed your eyes Foster child? Yes, when you quit my heart But you were more than what I needed. Shots at night So not to wake from bad Freaking day dreams I had Then I screamed 'WE' so loud I need some peace and love Back in my heart right now Baby! You're still allowed To break my heart. I'm proud To be the one who loved You and your shrouded sound You cared me like I'mma juvenile But you and I were like the ones who lied In a relationship that got screwed so wild Like a desperate child I'm f**ing crying Can't you see my tears that shine? My fears do hide every day you're mine You are divine and we are equal signs Are consequence of lies more reasons to lie? No. But sequence of lines were drawn Recently on this shore And frequently pa**ing waves piquantly swept for more The vacations we planned for yesterdays And when you stranded 'em for a better day In a better way for your getaway b**h! You better get down, let the plane fly away With you or f**ing without you That sh**'s gonna drown in Tampa Bay I've f**ed up it's engine. You won't find a way To The Kingdom of Far Far Away or find a help Kind are white whales, they will feed you kelp And let males in 'em f** you and breed yourself Do you need my help for some weed or bread? To cuddle in the bed or to bleed your head? You make me an addict, my drug I can't stop Feel like I've combusted, I'm about to pop! Thanks to you I'm a beat closer to d**h I don't wanna see you dead in this sea instead I'd rather sit and watch you f**ing suffer Think about me, baby! I'm still that old lover But all those beautiful days are hard to recover Until then, my strains of love shall hover Upon you but it's getting more and more tougher Voilà! Found my bong and weed bag. Do you have a crusher? I'll smoke this sh** and see the sun getting drowned in this sea If you go deep undersea, you'll find a Judas tree This world shall be happy, for the deceivers are free f** the world, I will make you fall in love with me Gonna wait til you almost drown and then save you I don't do it for you, I do it for myself So I bought this boat by selling all your wealth I'm comin' for you, c*nt! You please hold your breath Packed our bags hoping my plans won't fail That's a blind man in driver's seat. Let's start to sail He's f**ing eyeing you 'cause he knows the tale He may wanna f** you as he knows details Scream 'Hallelujah!' when he grabs your ponytail Michael, leave her! That's my b**h. She's not for sale s** my dick, f*ggot! And row this boat ashore I don't like the way you f**ing call her who*e I'm gonna take a sword and chop your balls Oh, Jesus calls. Jordan's river will chill your soul Rest in peace moron. Rest in peace, snitch Change in plans, darling. I'm not gonna k** you b**h The awesome threesome we two had No spastic grieving for this gruesome night I get drastic feelings in my clastic heart Satanic I became and let magics start I'll drag his body to that mastic tree Bring a plastic bag and stay panic free Organic he'll become in two months or three He was nobody. Please don't disagree You're not gonna call cops if you care for me Keep that f**ing phone down and try to see This is felony and that too first degree We'll rot in some prison till you're seventy three We'll see the world out as two parolees We're human beings. You feel what I feel We are real. We heal. f** these policies This is prophecy said by some prodigy Honestly, this is not an apology We're a family and there is no agony Eternally this will be a fantasy Reality is what's happening. I'll spit it happily We're a tragedy out of a fallacy Verses of blasphemy more and more blast from me The sun was shinning bright on spring On 30th of Feb, you wore my ring b**h! You who*e! You f**ing stink More and more I think of you, I'm back to brink Hate I had just shrinked Scorching back to things, you and I once did Dirty dozen kisses f**ing swings and misses Dike of hugs and sh**s Like a lust beholding fish, I fought for life with bliss I'm back in shore; Love whips But life is more than this My wife is like a nymph. I'm Trying not to remember fascinating limbus Left by her- an illness. Celebrating richness By being bloody mistress. The day before last Christmas When she slept with someone else's big a** Argh! fu*k!!! My mind whinges and cringes all my wishes Where are my goddamn paink**ers and syringes? I'mma wrench this window off its hinges Injures me but I'm gonna get rid of her jinxes My demons are alive. Thanks to this minx I'm gonna f**ing k** her God! Please. I hate to love and love to hate her Then I took a driller and dragged her to our cellar I want her to feel like me; brain-dead Before I put a hole in her head I f**ing made her plea to k** her I'm pleased to be the k**er sweating in this winter Wake up, b**h! Where is my f**ing dinner? Aww, I can't sleep anymore. I'm starving and getting thinner Seems like the cold wind swept away the winner And makes me realize I'm a sinner She used to call me a poetaster writing bathetic poems A pathetic lunatic with no genetic problems And I'm a fanatic bogus hiding in satanic darkness As my heart is damn broken because of dramatic moments See, I'm a phoenix you burnt. A love you've spurned Kept yearning more from you always but I never learned Now I'm gonna clean my closet, one that remained the darkest No dreams and nightmares, no more memories as a**ets All the doors I found I just closed Pushed every knob but I throbbed f**. You are back as a storm And I trudge on verge of clouds Calm yourself for now. Harm myself for all Deeds I did before. I cannot behold Roots of love that rots in my heart alone Hatred sprouts out of pain you left atop I was wide awake on the last day of the past year Not to celebrate alone or scream aloud 'Happy New Year!' I was shedding tears 'cause I'm missing you a lot dear Couldn't sleep but my bottle of pills is always near Even after downing two dozen pills I wonder why I am still here I dug me a grave in my own personal hell right here The more pills I take, the more I fear. For d**h is getting near Then I took a sip more from this sodding beer I can hear you yelling lullabies in my ear I see the white light. It makes me wince; it is so bright Oh my God! I see it, I see it crystal clear Wait a minute, I think I should leave a note before I disappear So, for one last time I took my writing pad And wrote this b**hing souvenir I know I'm a persevering a**hole gone mad f** life. For I am finally outta here