Jonathan Coulton - Betty And Me lyrics

I guess I was skeptical when I first met Dr. Martin He said we could build a baby out of DNA And although it was expensive it was legal in the states where it wasn't banned It was Betty who suggested that we skip the parts of me that she can't stand So we made an appointment and Betty went alone They worked out the details and then called me on the phone To say congratulations Dad Now things are getting better for Betty and me We're making us a baby that's just like me only better And Betty says he'll be taller And Betty says he'll be smarter And Betty says that our baby will be better than me Betty was pretty firm about our baby being human I said we should give him wings and nice prehensile tail He could travel with the circus making money, making friends with clowns Betty said that's stupid and for God's sake would you turn that TV down? Now I've seen Betty happy, but she's never been like this She glows like someone's girlfriend in the middle of a kiss And I'm excited too Cause things are getting better for Betty and me We're making us a baby that's just like me only better And Betty says he'll be taller And Betty says he'll be smarter And Betty says that our baby will be better than me And the love inside me thunders like a storm And I hope the tube they keep him in is comfortable and warm I hope the nutritive solution that they're feeding him doesn't make him fat Betty's been spending lots of time out late with Dr. Martin She says that they're working on the baby every night And Dr. Martin brings her presents like new underwear and a bottle of wine I'll just keep on writing checks until the day that baby is mine He might have my moustache or my freckles or my eyes Betty thinks it's better if we keep it a surprise I hope I find out soon Cause things are getting better for Betty and me We're making us a baby that's just like me only better And Betty says he'll be taller And Betty says he'll be smarter And Betty says that our baby will be better than Baby will be better than Baby will be better than me