Jonathan Coulton - The Presidents lyrics

Washington came first and he was perfect John Adams kept us out of war with France Jefferson made a Louisiana Purchase In 1812 James Madison kicked the British in the pants James Monroe told Europe they could s** it John Quincy Adams looked just like his Dad Andrew Jackson got rid of all the Indians Van Buren served one term but he wasn't bad William Henry Harrison died early John Tyler annexed Texas from Mexico James K. Polk fought Mexico to keep it Taylor was a Mexican War hero Filmore gave a boat to Commodore Perry Pierce repealed the Missouri Compromise Buchanan saw the Civil War's beginnings Lincoln saved the Union, then he died Andrew Johnson just survived impeachment General Grant enjoyed a drink or two Rutherford B. Hayes ended reconstruction Garfield was a**a**inated in 1882 Arthur suspended Chinese immigration Cleveland made the railroad people squirm Harrison signed the Sherman Anti-Trust Act Grover Cleveland served another term McKinley kept the Spanish out of Cuba Roosevelt was handy with a gun Taft was big and fat and had a mustache Wilson kicked some a** in World War I Harding said let's laissez faire with business Coolidge made the roaring 20's roar Hoover screwed the pooch in the Great Depression Then Roosevelt beat the Nazis in a war Truman dropped the bomb on Hiroshima Eisenhower kept the commies well in hand Kennedy was k**ed by a magic bullet Johnson murdered kids in Vietnam Nixon was a sweating filthy liar Ford gave Nixon pardon for his crimes Carter lusted in his heart for peanuts Reagan won the Cold War and lost his mind George Bush senior poked at Saddam Hussein Clinton gave an intern a cigar W's legacy's a work in progress That is all the presidents so far In the year 2005 we're out of money Somewhere surely freedom's on the march I don't like to make political statements