Jonathan Coulton - Todd The T1000 lyrics

Sometimes I kind of miss the old XJ-9 that we used to call Jane Really good at cleaning and we got along fine so I couldn't complain Lately she'd been getting tangled up in the shag rug And finally one wheel just wouldn't spin So we said our goodbyes and I traded her in This new one's kind of creepy, makes me shudder inside with his idiot grin He's head to toe with muscles and they ripple and slide under translucent skin Sometimes he'll stand for hours looking into the mirror And flexing like some guy at the gym And I'm easily ten inches shorter than him Todd the T1000 scares me I don't think he knows I've got a right to exist And he sits in my favorite chair and dares me And when I look over he is making a fist One finger at a time I ask him if he'll vacuum and he doesn't respond, but I know that he heard I turn and catch him looking when he thinks that I'm gone and he flips me the bird I asked him when we started, please stay out of the bedroom But I don't think I'm safe anywhere When I wake in the dark I can tell that he's there Todd the T1000 scares me I don't think he knows I've got a right to exist And he sits in my favorite chair and dares me And when I look over he is making a fist One finger at a time So I live like a ghost while he's living like me It's not my house anymore And I sneak out the door while he's watching TV Head down to the cyborg store I get some new arms installed at the store Buy the biggest ones I can Head back to my house, Todd answers the door He sees more than just a man My right arm is a smasher like the trunk of a tree and the left one's a saw I cut the couch in half and I smash the TV with my big smashy claw He's standing still and silent, I can't tell what he's thinking He blinks a single glowing red eye So I give him a shove and then Todd starts to cry Todd the T1000 scares me But I think he knows I've got right to exist And he sits in my favorite chair and dares me But when he looks over I am making a fist One finger at a time