Jonathan Coulton - Screwed (Demo) lyrics

Some dumb Indian sold Manhattan for Seven bucks and a bottle of booze Went out drinking and came home sober and Told his friends the good news Bernadette saw the Virgin Mary but No one else could, and everyone tried All her friends said that she'd gone crazy she Joined a convent and died I'm the Indian, I am Bernadette I'm the s**er who doesn't know it yet I just signed it I never reviewed All the fine print you wrote out Now I guess I'm screwed Indiana Jones liked to travel he Took his friend on a treasure hunt trip Did a favor and threw him the idol but Never got back his whip Boba Fett was a bounty hunter he Did his job well, he brought back his man He was clutching his unspent money when he Fell down a hole in the sand I am Dr. Jones, I am Boba Fett I'm the s**er who doesn't know it yet I just signed it I never reviewed All the fine print you wrote out Now I guess I'm screwed It's bad news for me again It never ends I got no prize inside my Happy Meal I got lots of money I got lots of friends Just like Meatloaf got a record deal Alexander Graham Bell made telephones His friend Watson was out all the time Called him up just to chat, nobody home Never got back his dime Once upon a time France was beautiful Had a queen who gave everyone cake Then the people got mad and k**ed her dead Took back all they could take I am Graham Bell, Marie Antoinette I'm the s**er who doesn't know it yet I just signed it I never reviewed All the fine print you wrote out Now I guess I'm screwed