Jon Lajoie - Cold Blooded Christmas lyrics

It was late at night on christmas eve I was dreaming of the soft white snow (white snow) I was awoken by a noise near the christmas tree What it was I did not know It was santa claus, he was bringing me some gifts Unfortunately I did not know that (I didn't know) So I quietly snuck up behind him and I shot him five times in the back It went "bow, bow, bow, bow, bow" He said "what the f** - ow, ow, ow" Then I shot him three more times in the head Pieces of his brain flew out and he was dead That's when I noticed his blood-soaked beard And his red suit filled with bullet holes (oh, oh) I said "Oh my god, I k**ed santa claus - I'm not going to jail for this a**hole" (Hell no) So I went do my shed and I got my saw And I started to chopedy, chop, chop (chop, chop, chop) I started with his arms, then his legs, then his head and then the torso was a really long job And the blood went spurt, spurt, spurt It was really hard work, work, work It was hard cutting through his spine I must have vomited 16 times I burned all the pieces in my fireplace The smell of burning human flesh filled my nose 11 hours later there was nothing left then thats when I heared my telephone It was aunty Gene looking for uncle Bob She said he left the house dressed as santa claus But he didn't come home last night "Have you seen him, god I hope he's allright"