Jon Lajoie - F**k Everything lyrics

Yo others rappers claim to not give a f** Well step aside b**hes 'cause I give the lowest amount of f** humanly possible I don't give a f** About anything f** everyone and f** everything what I don't give a f** I literally don't give a f** about anything I don't give f** about motherf**ing anything People care about sh**, I say f** everything f** you, f** me, f** the sky, f** trees, f** the sun I don't need heat or vitamin D And f** toasters I don't need to cook my bread And f** coasters I use a little plate instead And f** roosters with your useless co*k-a-doodle-doo We invented alarm clocks we no longer need you Don't give a f** about chairs I prefer to stand And f** air conditioners I got a ceiling fan And f** the movie the fan starring Wesley Snipes Demolitionmans the only Snipes movie I like And f** liking sh** I don't even like the stuff that I like Don't give a f** about not liking all the sh** I don't like Like tissues f** 'em I blow my nose on the couch And f** my nostrils and my sense of smell I breathe through my mouth Don't give a f** about seeing b**h f** my eyes f** visual perception yo I'd rather be blind And f** time seconds are too short and minutes are a joke And hours are way too long they should be half and hour at most And f** coasts don't give a f** about where water meets land And f** boats just 'cause you float you think you're so f**ing bad And f** jokes I don't need to be funny all the time My dog has a tumor and he's probably gonna die but I don't give a f** About anything f** everyone and f** everything what I don't give a f** I literally don't give a f** about anything Walked in to a coffee shop and ordered a cup The girl said "Small, medium or large?" I said "b**h I don't give a f**" She said "I can't process your order if you don't pick a size" I said "Fine I'll take a large but I still don't give a f** alright?" Don't give a f** about beverage size options motherf**er And I don't give a f** about liquids either They're all wet and sh** and tend to spill all over the place Like human semen when I get it all over my face I'm not gay I just don't give a f** about straight s** And f** my dick I'll pee and cum out of my mouth instead f** biological functions f** the human body I'd prefer the body of a bat and the head of a coyote I'd call myself batyote and I'd fight crime at night I know it's similar to batman but motherf** copyright I plagiarize all the time I do it every day 'Cause I'm on the right track baby I was born this way And f** birth entering the world of space and time is a b**h Searching for purpose in a random universe s**s dick Is it deterministic or am I free to choose my way Did I choose to not give a f** about icecube trays If I want ice I'll go to the f**ing cornerstore and buy a bag Filling you up and waiting for the water to freeze is a motherf**ing drag You know what f** the word f** I don't need to use it I'll replace it with the word chainsaw for this chorus I don't give a chainsaw About anything chainsaw everyone and chainsaw everything what I don't give a chainsaw I literally don't give a chainsaw about anything If there were a contest to see who doesn't give a f** the most I wouldnt win 'cause I don't give a f** about winning, yo I don't even give a f** about not giving a f** so I do give a f** Wait, what? I give a f** About everything I love everyone and care about everything what I give a f** I literally care about every motherf**ing thing