John Wesley (Rap) - Notebook lyrics

God damaged you, but God made you I love you, and I know that I can hate you I'd be careful, but our relationship is already a trap And since no one is listening I'm ready to snap I will k** you before I let you breathe, you'd better be Here for me whenever I need you, or my energy Will be released upon you, alcohol is the end of me But nothing I can do to you will get me any sentencing It's tempting but I'll never put my pen to sleep Why are you crying I thought you liked getting beat I can't live without you, it's love, I'd never speak If you ever left me it would be life-threatening I don't pursue another day of hurting you But every time I get my hands on you, I take it personal I would frame a photograph as far as the eye can see As far as I can see I'll make you silent if you try to scream I think I'm obsessed with you, I can't help it And you are no one else's – I know I'm selfish We're apart for a few days, I'm so jealous I'm no gentleman my ugliness is overwhelming And you're no different, no; you're SO different, illicit d** Turn you from a regular b**h into a b**h I love Where do I get it from? – What I did, I shake my head Don't say what I did, be careful, you may wake the dead Why do you love me? I use you to come clean Admit what I did, but you won't throw a fit or punch me And nobody knows – people don't look deep enough I won't exhale – I'll close my mouth and keep it shut I hope you keep quiet about what I like to do To you when I'm drunk off anxieties and fighting you I grab a rifle and a knife, I don't like to choose Slice and bruise you till I feel better, then cry to you It's tragic that I write sins, I try to write them slow If it weren't for you I'd have died quite a while ago I'm alone but hey, I'm only slightly suicidal I've finally chose to fight for life, and what I decide is final Ninety Tylenol, Pine sol, crying and all Trying to crawl to call 911, write on the wall I'm not a good person; everybody I am sorry You can ask anybody from Marley to Samantha or Carley I've cheated on every girl because I put you first And any result that could occur I always would endure I wouldn't leave you, I would leave them, but you don't make me Admitting an affair is a way to treat no lady So know changing is something my mood is always doing I'll never know if this is therapeutic or harmful music I can't handle my thoughts; I'm getting off-topic My desires whisper in my ear while God watches If my life is not love then it's all nonsense I'd rather fall unconscious than make small progress Arguments are dissolving my thought-process And I've started wondering if my problem even are problems You stopped me from leaving my body hanging on a string Strangled and deceased slain in-between angels and demons Our desires, what a tangled web we weave Live for yourself and what a painful d**h you'll see So I continually use you, I'm a**embling excuses Seeking answers is tempting; the penalty is confusion Empty and use me I ask of you I know it's melodramatic but life is done the minute rap is through You ain't going anywhere I told you to sit This isn't me throwing a fit, no, you know what it is My face has cold blooded k**er written all over and my pen has Spoken to children choking their image in a mirror I know you're frustrated, I keep distancing me I'll take my own advice [LIFE] eventually You give me way too much credit, you expect you're protected Accept I'm reckless and you're the object of my affection; obsession Whos to blame for staying in this relationship We're just a mix of hatred, impatience, nature, and negligence Anyone can be appealing for an evening That's called infatuation; feelings can be misleading Do you a favor and k** me and be deceiving Vow me diseased is a secret that you'll be keeping I swear to God and Muhammad too much is not enough Devoted to being someone you'll never get to the bottom of Life has one choice – are you going to give or take Make money, take everything and d**h will take it away