John Moreland - Blacklist lyrics

I started up the engine and headed for the place we met I prayed to sister Juliette, smoked three packs of cigarettes I'm still trying to figure out forgiveness And keep track of all of my sins Just tell me you don't love me, and I promise I won't Darken your doorstep again This sure ain't how I thought that it would feel to finally have made it I've arrived alive in Danbury, damn it's overrated They put us back on the blacklist Well we never learned why we needed saved We took a ride trying to hide from the god Of early marriages and empty graves Last night, New York City was heaven, now I'm feeling low And how many stones did we roll, hoping hell would explode We read all the right books, we sang songs we misunderstood And with or without any reason, we did rebellion what justice we could So I'm trying not to think about home, and all that I miss I swallowed my pride, and I cried, cause we didn't exist You said it's now or never, well I never stop feeling that way We get turned around, our spirits break down, we just lie and say we're ok Well the older I get, truth gets harder to find And famous false prophets get by off of robbing good men blind Maybe I don't have it in me, maybe it doesn't have me in it And if I don't fly, that's fine, just let me find the place where I fit