John Feldmann - Prank Phone Calls lyrics

[Prank Call 1] *phone rings* [Serious Employee] Mark ***** [Prankster] Hi, could I please speak to Steven Sa**afras? [Serious Employee] I think you have the wrong number [Prankster] This isn't the doctor's office? [Serious Employee] No, it's not. [Prankster] I thought that he told me, to give me this number specifically, 'cause I had a bit of an accident with, uh, my keys. And, uh... [Serious Employee] I'm terribly sorry, but he... this is not the number. [Prankster] Do ya, do ya have a pair of pliers? 'Cause I - I really, like a serious pain, and I - I can't do it myself. He said... Is he playing a trick on me? [Serious Employee] I'm not a doctor, sir! I - I would like... There's no way I can help you. [Prankster] I went to the dentist and they told me this number to call [Serious Employee] Well, somebody's pulling your leg. [Prankster] No, my leg's okay, it's my teeth that hurt. [Serious Employee] Uh-huh... *hangs up* *outburst of group laughter* [Prank Call 2] [Employee] Thanks for calling [Threesome?] Central, this is ****, are we calling to schedule a service? [Prankster] Umm, my dog is stuck in my dryer... [Employee] 'Kay. Umm, sir, can I go ahead and have your area code and telephone number please? [Prankster] Umm, I don't know my phone number. [Employee] Do you - do you know the street address? [Prankster] *draws breath* It's a green house. I'm very, very... very, very sick. (silence) My dog is stuck in the dryer. [Employee] Right. [Prankster] He's in there and I can't get him out. And it's on. (silence) I would turn it off... [Employee] Okay... [Prankster] But I'm just too old. And decrepit. And I don't wanna... move. [Employee] Uh, let me send this information over and set up an emergency service for you. [Prankster] Okay. [Employee] Just a second. *two bu*tons pushed* [Prank Call 3] *phone rings* [Elderly Lady] Good afternoon. [?], can I help you? [Exaggerated Accent Prankster] Allo! Chawlie there? [Elderly Lady] Who? [Exaggerated Accent Prankster] Chawlie! [Elderly Lady] Charlie? [Exaggerated Accent Prankster] Jahn [Elderly Lady] John? [Exaggerated Accent Prankster] Hello? [Elderly Lady] Hello.... [Exaggerated Accent Prankster] Hello? [Elderly Lady] With who would you like to speak? [Exaggerated Accent Prankster] Jahn [Elderly Lady] John? [Exaggerated Accent Prankster] Jimmy. [Elderly Lady] No. [Exaggerated Accent Prankster] No? [Elderly Lady] I don't know nobody named John. [Exaggerated Accent Prankster] Chawlie? [Elderly Lady] No. [Exaggerated Accent Prankster] Chuck. [Elderly Lady] No. [Exaggerated Accent Prankster] Sometimes we call him Chuck. [Elderly Lady] Chuck? No. [Exaggerated Accent Prankster] Chawlie? [Elderly Lady] No. [Exaggerated Accent Prankster] Um, Anthony? An-Antony! [Elderly Lady] Who are you? [Exaggerated Accent Prankster] Wait--*cuts off*