Joell Ortiz - Mother's Mark lyrics

[Verse 1: Bodega Bamz] Wonder what I was thinking Wonder what I was feeling Sitting in my mother's belly Waiting, praying that I'm healthy I use to hear them argue They talking a different language My father not from this country My mother yeah that's my planet That's my earth In her womb I was planning Can I make through 9 months I could manage Every time I was hungry She felt a kick Moved around a lil bit When's my due date? I'm tryna make my mark I don't care what you name me Just give me Heart And I don't care how you school me Just make me smart It's real dark where I'm at But I'm warm, curled up I didn't like dinner last night So you throw it up And I feel I'm getting bigger Mommy how you holding up? When you cry, I can taste it When you mad, I can take it When you laugh, it was music to my ears I just hope I make u proud Hope I make it out Mami What if you think I'm ugly? What if nobody's love me? I'm tired of the waiting I know you real inpatient Then I see a light at the end of the tunnel I hear screams of pain The pressure is building Could this be my due date? Feel somebody pulling my leg But I ain't ready to go I wanna stay please Where I'm at? I'm confused Who is you? My thoughts before the first time I cried And opened my eyes The bio of an unborn child [Verse 2: Nitty Scott] Waddup mommy Came home for ya home cookin' I'm on the road, but I found space in-between bookings On the patio just sippin' some rum Talking about how far we've come Like remember when you rolled up on my stepmoms? & beat her a** 'cause she tried to overstep moms? I was embarra**ed, and sick of the narrative But i know you never ya got gla** slippers or carriages Disadvantages, two failed marriages I can't imagine how losing both of your parents is But you went through it Not around it or beneath it, you just trekked through it And you kept moving If it stormed, you just cleared the debris Took a graveyard shift, when you had a degree But something happened See ya husband tried to have me, and the sad fact is He made a victim out of me A twisted little sickness, a statistic out of me Grown now, I can't seem to get this out of me I told you what he did & how he how tried to deceive First thing you said was "nah I find that hard believe" & that k**ed me to the core, mommy k**ed me to the core Made feel like I wasn't protected no more Took me 10 years to let you know how angry I was Lost in the metropolis, replacing your love I was trapped in situations, got mistaken for love It was all manifestations of foresakin your love Walking around with a black nimbus above me That's when I left to NY, I tried run free Escaping my past 'cause it was ugly & to this day, I f**in' struggle to love me But you received it & told me you didn't mean it Listen to my grievances, promised you never seen it And I forgive you, mommy, do it for both of us I know you feel the guilt & we been thru this sh** enough Enough to build a bridge over troubled waters My eyes is watering, you know I gotta be ya daughter The one you used to call ya little negra I listen to you even when you being extra Me, you & abuela, the trifecta Since we been healing, I'm seeing the whole spectrum & I'm talking to God again too He said sometimes you gotta guard for your guardian too You did your the best with your lemons & now it's clear 'Cause I lived under your heart for almost a whole year So I could never not be an extension of you Tears streaming as I pen this, sending blessings to you It's like I understood her & then I suddenly found me The reason I ain't waiting for a n***a to crown me Mommy [Verse 3: Joell Ortiz] A song to my favorite Look ma we made it It shoulda happened sooner and I hate it You licked your thumb wiped the cold helped me bundle up Yawning waiting for the morning bus The queen of my castle Flipping burgers at a White Castle My Daddy used to drive right past you I know how that must've made you feel Still you raised me real And I'm your baby still We never was straight Stress in your face But you'd chef up a plate And somehow make everything great In the past I would talk about your drug problem But you never made your problem my problem I'm sorry I ended up hustling Carjacking, gun busting, you was so disgusted You was so disgusted But my choices wasn't your fault I don't even know why I stopped writing I always knew this was the way out I prolonged you on that block crying People think I do this rapping for me Actually I want you as happy as happy can be Every single project, I think about them projects That life's too simple, you need your own complex Appreciation is an understatement I hate the thought of lowering you under pavement My momma, my best friend, my true love I'm a stop by later and give u 2 hugs I know you proud of me on TV We laugh about how we couldn't see the TV sh** is crazy though I'm talking about my favorite lady on the radio