Joel and Ethan Coen - The Big Lebowski ("I'm the dude." Scene) lyrics

Int. Lebowski's Home - Day Entering the room is a fat sixty-ish man in a motorized wheelchair--Jeff Lebowski. LEBOWSKI Okay sir, you're a Lebowski, I'm a Lebowski, that's terrific, I'm very busy so what can I do for you? He wheels himself behind a desk. The Dude sits facing him as Brandt withdraws. DUDE Well sir, it's this rug I have, really tied the room together- LEBOWSKI You told Brandt on the phone, he told me. So where do I fit in? DUDE Well they were looking for you, these two guys, they were trying to-- LEBOWSKI I'll say it again, all right? You told Brandt. He told me. I know what happened. Yes? Yes? DUDE So you know they were trying to piss on your rug-- LEBOWSKI Did I urinate on your rug? DUDE You mean, did you personally come and pee on my-- LEBOWSKI Hello! Do you speak English? Parla usted Inglese? I'll say it again. Did I urinate on your rug? DUDE Well no, like I said, Woo peed on the rug-- LEBOWSKI Hello! Hello! So every time--I just want to understand this, sir--every time a rug is micturated upon in this fair city, I have to compensate the-- DUDE Come on, man, I'm not trying to scam anybody here, I'm just-- LEBOWSKI You're just looking for a handout like every other--are you employed, Mr. Lebowski? DUDE Look, let me explain something. I'm not Mr. Lebowski; you're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. That, or Duder. His Dudeness. Or El Duderino, if, you know, you're not into the whole brevity thing-- LEBOWSKI Are you employed, sir? DUDE Employed? LEBOWSKI You don't go out and make a living dressed like that in the middle of a weekday. DUDE Is this a--what day is this? LEBOWSKI But I do work, so if you don't mind-- DUDE No, look. I do mind. The Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this will not stand, man. I mean, if your wife owes-- LEBOWSKI My wife is not the issue here. I hope that my wife will someday learn to live on her allowance, which is ample, but if she doesn't, sir, that will be her problem, not mine, just as your rug is your problem, just as every bum's lot in life is his own responsibility regardless of whom he chooses to blame. I didn't blame anyone for the loss of my legs, some Chinaman in Korea took them from me but I went out and achieved anyway. I can't solve your problems, sir, only you can. The Dude rises. DUDE Ah f** it. LEBOWSKI Sure! f** it! That's your answer! Tattoo it on your forehead! Your answer to everything! The Dude is heading for the door. LEBOWSKI Your "revolution" is over, Mr. Lebowski! Condolences! The bums lost! As the Dude opens the door. LEBOWSKI ...My advice is, do what your parents did! Get a job, sir! The bums will always lose-- do you hear me, Lebowski? THE BUMS WILL ALWAYS-- The Dude shuts the door on the old man's bellowing.