Joe Budden - Dear Diary lyrics

10-3-07 The soundtrack to my life is like CNN first sh** Images like CNN but worse sh** I would down the whole Pinot Gris But I'd see the Group Home without the Premo beats And it hurts my soul I'm a Warrior so though the odds is against a n***a Dirk gon choke Some people confide in the person that they sleep with Ive learned theres no such thing as a secret (oh) I can't describe the feeling I get You was riding shotgun I was wheeling the whip sh** I even let you rock out Being Bill Belichick tapin from the sidelines stealin my sh** But dawg you was like a mini me Mocked me envied me turns out you was blowin hot air Kenny G But you was cool accepted you instantly Not a groupie but you had a few tendencies And though we share a few memories A couple wrong turns'll turn a friend to an enemy See phony people like phony people Even you could be mistaken if you phone these people Look when you invite the nerds to the cool table sh** is bound to break up like a pool table Some wack dudes'll start feeling like the sh** And you thinkin its you its really where you sit Or maybe you was neglected Cause when you take the front down and strip a n***a naked hes dying to be accepted (oh) I did that just the way you was Now you a stranger nothing like the way you was But uh you not real you not Rachel You not Worm you not Dill sh** you not chill I thought you had some (?) f** the fake sh** I'm really feelin that you tryna screw me And you a lil smarter than the average dude So it took a n***a just a lil longer to see They tried to warn me fought with my girl every night about you sh** only hurts cause she was right about you She run around wanting to shoot you the fair one I keep telling her chill I don't care none I got another side I never showed to you The side where everybody is disposable See relationships are never a threat Cause Ill erase the history and act like we never met Become done giving a f** and done callin I got your e-mail I was done way before then (oh) Dear Diary I don't wanna keep sh** inside of me Id rather just speak to you privately Maybe its my mood as far as I can see Theres really no point in having this guy with me Change from the days of us getting in your truck Its bigger than one song its bigger than a buck Its bigger than me bigger than buck Bigger than voodoo its bigger than luck sh** its bigger than us I always call n***as fools for wanting to learn the hard way (when) When I'm really the fool for tryna teach'em When the blinds leading the blind you can't reach'em If n***as aint as hungry as you then why feed'em n***as aint tryna be lead then why lead'em Having big problems with your dogs why breed'em Ill keep my part up keep my guard up Was like Thundercats but changed faster than Cheetara Just a small part of a larger issue Sometimes acceptance is so hard to get to But we all equal no one lower or above me I love my team just as much as they love me If not more If I turn the knob we all going through the door I aint coming back for yall The whole crew feel the same as me How could you ignore something so plain to see I'm being ig'nant that get on my nerves every minute What's plain to some is really Burberry printed Being so real sometimes is a slow k** We was one squad you broke out like Mike Schofield I want fillet mignon you want oatmeal Add up our differences equals up to no meal No mills yup no deal why you gotta chase sh** To know its no thrills For real a n***a still beefin with his baby momma (BUT) Only thing my baby aint a baby no more Hit her on MySpace maybe she aint shady no more Sent old girl a message no reply but she read it Some things are so embedded and our heads is Looking for O's but get X's, dealing wit ya exes I was one long line away from the Tetris She sent me the L that sent me to hell To the point where I was ignoring my son I don't see him don't talk to him I don't greet him don't walk wit him But I pay for him like hes an object No matter how right I am in court I can't object Dear Diary how could she deny me How she go to bed without her f**in wit her psyche Is she wrong using him so I can come back (or) Or am I wrong for wishing I could get my cum back Looking for sun all I see is the hail How I'm gon trust All I see is betrayal Its like they keep trying more and more to subdue me And only you understand signed by yours truly