JinxAgain - Running From My Own Mind lyrics

I try not to think too much No thoughts, head empty, is my status 24/7 Here’s why Sometimes my thoughts just get too much And they overflow like lava I spend endless nights at 3am awake Trying to convince myself that it’s not a bother I count my fingers to distract myself, locate my pulse and find a beat Count numbers in my head because they’re more neat Sometimes I look crazy cos I shake my head randomly But i’m just trying to get my thoughts to stop trying to get to me But it’s really not that easy, as much as i’d like to lie and say it is Sometimеs I can’t escape myself and mysеlf is the worst thing to deal with I’m grasping at the straws, trying to pick up the remains of my sanity If there’s any left to salvage from what’s left of who i used to be I feel like i’m falling apart more each day And i’m never getting better But i can’t kill myself cos i hate pain And I still haven’t finished my letter 30 chapsticks gone and done, my favourite TV show finished months ago But i’m still here, for whatever reason Maybe it’s time that i let go I struggled with self harm for months on end The blade at that time was my best friend But even it couldn’t give me my desire To finally be able to admit that i’m too tired Too tired, the metaphor For something that you can’t ignore But honestly most days, I do I push it out of sight But then it comes back at night The pills sit at the bottom of my bag Waiting for the time to appear Some nights i’ve sat and looked at them And wondered what it would feel like to just disappear I feel like i’m falling apart more each day And i’m never getting better But i can’t kill myself cos i hate pain And I still haven’t finished my letter 30 chapsticks gone and done, my favourite TV show finished months ago But i’m still here, for whatever reason Maybe it’s time that i let go