Jet Trawick - A Life In The Day Of Trawick Jelani (Incomplete) lyrics

[Verse] We found a home in Fort Collins, Colorado No mode of transportation made more sense than pushing throttle The road was fabricated, fake, like everyone around him I lost a lot of a weight, I hadn't ate like skinny models To this day Jelani waits 'til he returns again I made a lot of enemies but then I made a couple friends Few will have my back, the others for the sake of having them But these just aren't thoughts that cross your head when you're in kindergarten Upon departure, I look forward to the future I'm on a better path, perhaps the city wouldn't suit you My son will have the greatest opportunities, elusive To the kids who growing up in projects, but we out the sewers And into the biggest crocodile cage Not amazing I got corrupted, exposure at the stage I didn't need the closure, so I loaned it to other kids my age I lost most of my focus, supposed to be getting better grades I made detrimental reputations I can't break Basic school was too simple, I didn't try to get A's I didn't try at all, but I understood it well But what type of career demands comprehension to pay the bills, Jay? I conveyed information at crazy paces but face it, I ain't no prodigy Other kids aren't racist, but I let my guard down easily Aced a couple straight tests, now I'm the smartest kid in cla** But that just wasn't good enough for Mommy, see cause when I leave the house I stand for my whole family, these white kids don't respect my skin so they don't care for me We moved out from the culdesac, Ari kinda came with me Third grade was breezy, but I had teachers holding me back I was 'bout to skip a grade, and that would've been great but Guess I wasn't servile enough, don't remember feeling degraded But this grade a jerk of a teacher was toxic, maybe it was me Cause the sound of a giggle's intoxicating I left Beattie 'bout halfway through the year, I didn't skip anything but At least that lady disappeared, I was revered for a while, They tried to copy my papers But the land of crocodiles personified changed my character I made my old personality famous, now I'm the cla** clown and I'm bound to what they think of me I can't escape now, cause a jester is all they'll ever see I better explain how my own charisma has presented me I'd hear some good material, and then I'd spit it out I can't explain my own impulses, I don't know what it's about The pleasure of making somebody's day better's great, but if it's detrimental to my grades Why would I do it, goodness sake, I slowly learned how to behave Comedic aggression was tamed, basically shaming myself to the point of rage Then my happiness is fake, like the cla**mates I entertain Pacifist ways Baffle counselors, highly trained, once I ma**acred my brain And disposed of my genius, creativity was boxed in top of closet and taped I'm too ashamed of playing games, making other people relate And saying edgy jokes because that's the things that we want these days Made a permanent fool of myself, first impressions relayed I could've done something special but I had to be a lame That's not okay, I'm not your funnyman, cunning brother with hundred bands Running from a humungous past, all created by needing laughs Could've got a scholarship, polished my lips and wrote some raps It's funny how I limited myself cause I'm black I'm tired being fake, I'm not your friend, give it back I ponder better days when I could lay and relax Or perhaps destroy that future that I always looked at It's funny how my parents spent their money and tried To keep me on the right path, but my culture has died It's funny how some white kids like to act blacker than I It's funny how me and Philly both gentrified at the same time [Outro] And that's as far I got