Jay-z - The Return of the Crazy One lyrics

(Okay, buddy, start playing!) One, two Buckle my shoe Scooby-Doo Humpty what you gonna do? Lick lick, let me lick Smell, let me smell the flavor And taste the behavior The way you Been kicking it while the Humpster was lamping Fishing and camping Out renting boats in the Hamptons Eating good, working out, and giving charity Working on my vocal cord clarity Hell, no, I can't front, I been at the crib G-ing Slapping poontang trying to be the mack pappy 40-dog and pina colada peeing Making my rounds to keep the Humpty girls happy If you missed me I was laying in the cut Wrecking big bu*ts And scratching my knees Cuz my homegirl's cat got fleas That's how it goes The beat flow-flows Yo peep the new color of my nose Representing how we been living That's how it is I'm not the biz But if I was to pick a booger It'd be a big fat gooey gold plated loogie But I was born a yankee so I use my hanky The way I wear my clothes freaks the hoes cuz I'm lanky Speaking of hankies, I like hanky-panky Especially when the hanky-panky's stanky Of course ain't gonna be too much stanking Cuz then my duty would be to give the booty a spanking I like biscuits and grits on the sausage And so you know it's me, I wrote some nonsense Hova glova nivlan blizman glaze niull The return of the crazy one (you think I ain't?) Psycho alpha, that means the crazy one Gold nose lazy one Sk** to k** I never worked I never will I'm the original high yellow rich rigger bum Hookers getting mad cuz they can't make me come Around their way Addicted to the way that I play I like to chew bubblegum Make them laugh when I'm loving them I blew a bubble and some Bubble-Yum Got caught up in the booty I thought it was the end of her Gabriella needed an enema So I put away the broom And we broke out the vacuum Sort of like spring cleaning Humpty Hump's leaning Into the groove from the fat beat The pimp slap beat The yo my head is nodding cuz I'm hooked like crack beat Hiva-humping Rip-riva-rumping Biva-biva-bu*t-pumping Rump-riva-rump-pumping And it just ain't releasing me The beat's obesity So fat that it makes me shout Ah ha this beat's got gout Not from the worms, from the pork That you eat with a fork But it weighs about a ton when it plays Back to the honeys The play-booty-bunnies You know what's real funny to me When they get up for the downstroke The look on their face when they almost choke On the lean bu*ter bean brown hamhock I got the joke in the chamber and the gun's co*ked It's time to pull out my funny bone and get ready for the fun The return of the crazy one Five, six Humpty's sick Seven, eight Just too late To get the man the help that he needs Yo, how about some bu*ter beans?