Jason Myers - Exit Here: Prologue lyrics

This is not a love story. These are the words that have been scraped into the ceiling of my tiny, sh**-hole room. My boxlike dungeon. My brand-new f**ing home. Below that, There are no happy endings. Sometimes, I think about who the f** carved that sh** in here. A lot of times, actually. Because I have a lot of time on my hands to think about everything. Around here this is what pa**es by as entertainment. You wake up. Think. You eat. Think. You shower. Think. You were some sh** down. Think. This is what my days and nights consist of this. This is my life. I can't wake up and f** some hot girl anymore and get f**ed up on some sh**, and it s**s, but I have nobody else to blame except myself. I made all the decisions that led me to this point, so even if I tried to point a finger, I would only be pointing at myself, and there's no need for that. Not anymore. I'm well past that sh** now. But still, I sometimes catch my mind wandering around. Walking backward. I catch myself thinking about the things that have happened and how if I'd just done this or that differently, I might be in a different place right now. Who knows where. Maybe getting loaded in a room and going off some wicked Lightning Bolt sh**. Maybe booze cruising down some highway smoking cigarettes, jamming out to the Replacements. Maybe lying in some bed next to Laura, bodies covered in sweat, holding onto her, Greg Ashley flowing from some nearby stereo. Laura. I always catch my mind racing back to her, especially to this one night in particular, Christmas night two years ago, when I was home briefly from college. This night jumps out because it was the night before I left for my trip to Hawaii, the trip where everything changed and flipped upside down on me. The night where Laura stood across from me and told me not to go. "Stay here the rest of your break and be with me." No way, I told her. I've been stoked for this trip since like two months ago. "Fine," she said. "Just go. Leave again. But get me something awesome." What do you mean? "Buy me some cool sh** from Hawaii." Pulling my shirt off, I crawl into bed and look at the ceiling. This is not a love story. I look below that. There are no happy endings.