Jason James - Forgetting How to Dream lyrics

Feels like the pot is boiling over, I'm just letting out the steam At night I go to sleep but I'm forgetting how to dream I used to want the money, money and the cars I thought if you hustled hard then you could become a god So I used to wanna be inside of Rihanna A home in the Bahamas, cold beer in the sauna Now I'm at a crossroads hitting every pothole Something doesn't feel right and I don't really want those I don't think it fits me, it's like a cheap suit I wanna put it on but it doesn't speak to The man that I am or the character that makes me My attitude's a loaded pistol with a broken safety Calculated moves but the people think I'm crazy I wonder when I die, will they easily replace me I wonder if the devil will be man enough to face me Or will I go to heaven, will they open up the gates, free Finally from all my bullsh** and hidden issues Is it my reward after everything I've been through I don't trust nothing, nobody, not never The wounds may have healed but they never got better At times I'm even questioning my brothers and my wife My brothers are my heart and she's the love of my life So it's fully understood that I never make exceptions I built an iron wall for my personal protection Anybody wanna try and penetrate my fortress I open up the doors and I'm letting out the horses Now a million murderers are galloping towards you Make no mistake about it, I am violent to my core, but Brother I'm a writer, put my rifle in the drawer Make you motherf**ers fry when my vocals strike a chord A glutton for the punishment I give them when I slip inside a beat Disembowel my opponents with a different kind of heat So they wanna lock me up and be a slave to the game But they don't understand I get creatively drained Listen b**h, I'm Jason James, I ain't Drake or Jermaine Believe I'm playing bumper cars if I stay in their lane You see I came from the bottom, said my words in a rhythm Nobody gave me sh**, I had to earn my position Then they sh**ted on me so I murdered my division They expected me to fail, I hope it hurts when you listen I hope your stomach turns when you hear it I hope your spirit burns, every word in my lyrics Is a dagger by design Driven by perfection then I'm leaving my impression when I drag it through your mind Spilt a bit of blood, I'm doing better now Always been a dick but I'm well endowed, maybe I should tell them how It took me 29 years just to get this record out Getting old and I can feel the time applying pressure, loud Noises in my head The clock keeps ticking, but I never fear the minutes it's the voices that I dread Telling me to f** it, shoot the sheriff and the deputy Hang them high and let them see a sudden shift in energy Infringe on my integrity and offer me a price I impede on your abilities and toss you to the lights Practitioner of pain, I administer the blow Assa**inate a king while he's sitting in his throne He can feel it in his bones when I rip into his throat You're living so consider this your ticket to the show Master of the universe, it infinitely grows Where the hero is the villain and the villain's in control Food for thought, dinner for the critics A winner for the losers, a sinner for the cynics And I'm just letting out the steam I'm scared to go to sleep cuz I'm forgetting how to dream