Jared Paul - $8 Smoothie lyrics

[Intro] I need to talk to you all about an important issue; a troubling development in today's economy...he he he he [Verse 1] I went to the vegan bakery And when I saw the juice bar, I didn't want no carbs They had that blueberrry, pineapple blast Said to myself, "a smoothie's where it's at." But I looked at the board, could not believe my eyes There was only one size, it said 7.99 Could that be the truth? Did I misread the line? But make no mistake it was really the case That's an... [Chorus] $8 smoothie, $8 smoothie I just can't believe it's an $8 smoothie $8 smoothie, $8 smoothie I can't let you do me for an $8 smoothie [2x] [Verse 2] A penny go from $8, 7.99 Educated consumers see the way you advertise Capitalist trick to make me think it's a deal But I am not fooled and I won't take the bait I can do the math, I can tabulate 7.99 - just as wack as 8 Normally I prefer to cook in my home My kitchen is cleaner, rock the sk**s of our own Money's tight and I got deals all locally grown But sometimes it's good to get out of my zone So I'm willing to pay, but not to get robbed Soda is nasty, I don't want candy or carbs I need something fresh, I want something fruity I need something healthy, I want something juicy But I'd kiss a white cop's boot live on Fox News Before I ever let you punk me for an... [Chorus] [Verse 3] C'mon now - this ain't New York or L.A And even if it was, I still wouldn't pay Might as well hang a sign up on the door sayin' "We sell organic juice but not to the poor." I can't afford it so, I go somewhere else Head back to my house and make it myself The plan all along don't even mess with his time He'll just raise up the price, it's what's polite In a scheme to completely and discreetly Gentrify the East Side, financial segregation Welcome ma** money like a trap door Invisible border, ever present cla** war I used to ignore but today's peasant got options Infinite internet, social media outlets Not only will I call to complain I'mma make sure my whole city get wise to the game [Chorus] [Outro] He, he, he - $8 smoothie?! Better be a 5th Golden Ticket to the Wonka Factory in that sh**. Seriously man - I am not giving you $8 for a smoothie; not unless there's like...a house salad and a back rub that comes with it