Jacob Nash - Suicidal lyrics

[hook] I do not care about my life! I cannot lie; I want to die! Everybody hates me. When I'm gone, they won't miss me I don't contribute to society; it would be better off without me Everybody hates me. When I'm gone, they won't miss me I don't contribute to society; it would be better off without me [verse 1] Do you want to know what it's like to be suicidal? If so, listen to these lyrics for seven minutes as I'll Tell you about what it's like to hate your life; When you're so far gone that you're ready to die You wake in the morning wondering "will this day be my last?" It just might be and that doesn't sound so bad You start to wonder what might be the cause of d**h You even run some possibilities through your head Maybe you could get a gun and fill yourself with lead But it would make less of a mess if you hung yourself instead You couldn't care less about when you take your last breath You imagine your own d**h and see your body lying dead You're thinking about what you'd write on a suicide note You might even have a few that you have already wrote You have difficulty getting yourself to get out of your bed You're feeling like sleeping away all of your problems instead You awake to the alarm, but you hit the snooze one more time You should've been up by eight; now it's a quarter past nine You just missed cla** for the third day in a row You might even fail this cla**. It's not a big deal though Because you don't really care about anything that happens in your life You're seriously considering stabbing yourself with a knife But so far, you've only used it for cutting yourself at night You've got scars all over your wrists that you try to keep out of sight You try to cover up the scars by wearing hoodies Or at least some kind of a shirt that has long sleeves You can't tell anyone about your problems Because you don't want to become a reason for concern But, you know that any day now you could die You're surprised you've gone this long without attempting suicide Years of wanting to die, but you still haven't tried Whenever you get close, you think of your mama crying [hook] [verse 2] Now, let me tell you a story, so gather all the children One bad day and this could actually happen I ordered a pistol on the internet and it came through the mail It took some time to arrive, but it came after a while The delivery guy brought it to the door. I should "Thank you" for Delivering the pistol, which I put on the floor I put it under the bed. I'll take it out when I need it With my state of mind, it shouldn't be long before I use it Sure enough, within a week after it arrived A day had already come when I was ready to die It only took a moment for me to write out A will for my possessions along with a suicide note But I couldn't commit suicide in the middle of the day I had to wait for a time when everyone else was away I'll do it when they're asleep, in the middle of the night I'll put the note on the table for them to find in the morning light Then, I'll bring the pistol with me out in the dark I'll walk through a field until I've reached my mark; That's where I decided that I'd take my last breath That's where I decided that I'd meet up with d**h I got to my destination after walking a couple of miles I took the pistol out of my pocket, then I stopped for a while I thought about how this was going to be the last night of my life I figured that I'm ready to die, so I guess that's alright But I may as well make the most of my last moments on earth Before I get blood on my shirt and fall in the dirt I took some deep breaths and felt the wind on my face On my own out in the field was such a peaceful place When I decided where to this, I'd say I picked the right place But then I thought about my family and my heart started to race How I could I abandon those closest to me like this? I've got to get to that note before they find out about this [hook] [verse 3] I'm sick of everybody, myself included, being so fake Acting like everything's good, putting on a smiling face That's what I've been doing, even though my life's at stake How can everything be okay in a world full of hate? It can't, it isn't, and it will never be okay to be honest But most people out there don't even want to hear honesty Honesty is actually discouraged in our society So when I say I want to die, everybody starts looking down on me It's as if I'm screaming some kind of vulgarity The truth happens to hurt, so everybody avoids it entirely Ignorance is bliss, so lets just ignore the reality And I suppose I'll be silent about my suicidal mentality I'll pretend that life's good and that I've been living happily Even though my life is a mess and I'm stressed with anxiety When I'm living like this, it's hard for me to write with variety All that ever goes through my head are thoughts of fatality Maybe I should just find someone else to start writing for me So that I can rap some lyrics that aren't written so angrily But I'd rather not ask anyone else to do my writing I'm okay with being dark. I've got to be rapping about something And to me, dark music is usually entertaining And it could be worse. I could be rapping about pimping and k**ing Well, I do talk about k**ing, but not k**ing other people anyway And I'll never let myself say "k**ing yourself is okay." Even though I feel like k**ing myself any of these days Why am I even doing this? Nobody is going to hear it anyway Beacuse I'd have to find some way for me to become famous And for that, I have to keep myself alive long enough to release this And who really wants to hear someone rap about their own d**h? Most would rather hear me rap about life instead And maybe something happy that would be good for the radio But I'd rather be me and I'm darker than other rappers you may know [outro] I made this song to let you know That you're not alone. You're not the only one Don't k** yourself. It'll be okay Tomorrow will be a whole new day Don't k** yourself. It'll be okay Tomorrow will be a whole new day Don't k** yourself. It'll be okay Tomorrow will be a whole new day Don't k** yourself. It'll be okay Tomorrow will be a whole new day