Jacob Nash - If I Die lyrics

[verse 1] I'm getting discouraged and I'm feeling so worthless My life is so pointless and I'm fed up with all this I think it would be best if I put myself to rest But I'm not talking about going to bed I'm talking about going to my coffin instead I'm talking about wanting myself to be dead But this isn't another rant about being suicidal This is about the reasons why I feel the way I do Now, before I continue, I'm not going to k** myself If I ever actually try to, hopefully I'll get help But is it okay when I say it's a good day to die? I'm feeling that way and I don't want to lie Just think about if more good came from my d**h Than would come from my life if I don't take it tonight I'm lacking a reason to keep living my life I'm sick of this strife. What's the meaning of life? It means I have yet to k** myself. Right? Is there anything else? Or is there no reason not to k** myself? If only I could make a positive impact on the world Maybe some day I will. I guess I'll just try to follow God's will [hook] As I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep And if I die before I wake I pray the Lord my soul to take As I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep If I don't see tomorrow's light Please take me home to heaven tonight [verse 2] I'm tired of sinning. I'm tired of living I'm tired of dealing with all the pain I've been feeling Thank God that I've been forgiven But how long until I get to go to heaven? I'm ready to go to heaven right now. I'm not suicidal But I've been patiently waiting for my d**h for a while Yeah, I'm waiting with patience, but my patience has limits And if it ever runs out, I'll put an end to all this I'll maybe slit my wrists or eat some bullets I could grab a gun, with my finger on the trigger, and end all of this But hopefully, I'll be able to find something to hold on to We all need something to live for; maybe family will do But it won't if you think they'd be better off without you And there are times for me when I think that is true What am I doing for them? Or for anyone else? To make their lives better and give purpose to myself? What am I contributing? If there isn't anything Then is there a reason to continue living? There's got to be some kind of positive impact that I'm making If I'm not helping in any way, I'd be better of dying [hook] [verse 3] Would the world be any different if I were to die today? Would some people grieve for a few days and then everything would be okay? Would any good come from my d**h? Or would it lead to bad things instead? I guess there's no way I could know until I'm actually dead But I wonder would people be inspired to live their lives better? Or would they get discouraged and maybe even want their lives to be over? Could they use the frustration to push them to do something That they couldn't do had I continued on living? Or maybe when I die, it'll be like nothing happened And the world will hardly even notice my abscence I do know nobody will gladly receive their inheritance Because I really don't own very many possessions But rambling on and on about my d**h really is pointless I'm just wondering which would be better for things Would people be better off with me living or with me dying? I don't really know, because I have no idea what the future will bring I'll just try to make a positive impact to make my life worth living I'll be inspiring and encouraging with the music I'm making That's why my rapping is clean. I don't want to be mean Because music shouldn't be a negative influence to teens [hook]