Jabez Z - R. Jabez lyrics

Hey dad...just know I wrote this cause i had some feelings to get out And i don't actually hate you, i don't actually wanna be mean because of all this I love you Here's just some things i've been feeling lately You never seemed to give a sh*t about my dreams You always screamed at me when i tried to believe You never understood what went on behind the scenes Cuz you always seemed to have more fun without me So now that i'm gone, what changеs have been made? Is therе new behavior, new emotions displayed? New life, new words, new chapter, new page Without the son, a shady new world to portray You knew what i wanted, but your so fu*king obstinate You expected something different, it was so fu*king obvious You wanted a good child, one that wouldn't stay on the naughty list And one that wouldn't copy your sloppiness Well guess what, it turns out that i'm just like you The one thing that you didn't want has just become true Maybe it's not all bad, cuz now i know what not to do Jabez was passed down, because pain was all i got from youth So now that i'm grown, i'm deciding my own life One without the voice of my father inside One without tears that i cry every night One with more guilt for memories i left behind Illusion blinds the soul, and makes it hard to forget Temptation makes it difficult for the mind to resist Detail descriptions about beliefs and wishes With strict revisions about life choices and dishes I play with cards, so i've dealt with a lot I look around at all these kids driving cars I notice things in the light that i didn't see in the dark I've cleared my mind of all of the wasteful scars So go ahead, remind me that i've fu*ked things up I know i've made mistakes, i know i've made things tough I know that you love me, i know that life was rough I know that i love you back, but i know that's not enough You always told me actions speak louder then words That means that i have to prove to you what i'm worth I wake up every morning and go to fu*king work I wish i could show you all the lessons i've learned Every time we speak, i leave out all my troubles Cuz i don't want you to see that i've been going through struggles The mind plays tricks, full of flourishes and shuffles Cascades, and pinky breaks, making it hard to rebu*tal Unfortunately, even the best people fall We both agree that its difficult to stand tall Some sons don't have the guts to say what's wrong But out of the fathers in the world, your the greatest of them all I'm always strong