J Pee - Santa Claus is Coming With Guns lyrics

J Pee baby Hello little Timmy I have your Christmas List Here in my sack is your every wish You want a new dirt-bike & a jet-ski Love & safety for your family Timmy, you're so thoughtful OMG That's why you need a-- [Chorus 1] GUN! Cuz you need to protect your family Timmy People are out to k** you- GUN! If you love them like you say you do This is the gift for you- GUN! The only way to stop bad guys with guns Is good guys with- GUNS! And you're a good guy, Timmy So you need one! Hello little Sarah You seem like a sweet girl Thank you for the cookies Your baking is NUTS! I see on your list You like education Brand new backpack and a calculator I think school is great, don't get me wrong But Sarah Books will not protect you from a-- [Chorus 2] GUN! Cuz your cla**mates are f**ing crazy And all of them have guns That's why I bought you an AK for your safety So you'll never have to run- GUN! Your great, great, great grandfather died so you could have one- GUN! If you don't like freedom you can get on a boat back to ENGLAND! Hello little Jamie What a lovely first name Are you a boy or a girl? How androgynous! It says that you want tickets to the cinema I wouldn't recommend that without a-- [Chorus 3] SNIPER! Cuz these lunatics hate movies Cuz they never had a date night- SNIPER! Sit in the very back row please Watch the movie through the scope! Hello little Teddy You have a house to defend I give you man's best friend- RIFLE! RIFLE! RIFLE! RIIIIFFLLEEE (high note) Mommy, you get an uzi Daddy, you get a Glock Grandma, it's a cold war outside You better bundle up-- (J Pee and family accidentally shoot Santa)