J. Cole - '03 Adolescence lyrics

I grew up, a f**in' screw up Tie my shoe up, wish they was newer Damn, need somethin' newer In love with the baddest girl in the city, I wish I knew her I wish I won't so shy, I wish I was a bit more fly I wish that I, could tell her how I really feel inside That I'm the perfect n***a for her, but then maybe that's a lie She like a certain type of n***a, and it's clear I'm not that guy Ball player, star player, I'm just watchin' from the side On the bench, cause my lack of confidence won't let me fly I ain't grow up with my father, I ain't thinkin' bout that now Fast forward four years or so from now I'll probably cry When I realize what I missed, but as of now my eyes are dry Cause I'm tryna stay alive, In the city where too many n***as die Dreamin' quiet tryna dodge a suit and tie Who am I? Aye who am I? (Yeah) Things change, rearrange and so do I It ain't always for the better dawg I can't lie I get high cause the lows can be so cold I might bend a little bit but I don't fold One time for my mind and two for yours I got food for your thoughts to sooth your soul If you see my tears fall just let me be Move along, nothing to see I always did sh** the hard way, my n***as *** slangin' in the hallway Burnt CD's and trees like this was broadway, Times Square Kept the dimes there in the locker Some Reggie Miller With more brown hairs than Chubacca Whispers that he got it for the low low Sell a, dime for a dub, them white boys ain't know no better Besides, what's twenty dollars to a n***a like that? He tell his pops he need some lunch and he gon' get it right back I peep game Got home snatched my mama keychain, took her whip The appeal, too ill to refrain I hit the boulevard pull up to my n***a front door His mama at home, she still let em' hit the blunt though I told her hello and sat with my n***a and laughed And talked about how we gon' smash all the b**hes in cla** I complimented how I see him out here getting his cash, and just asked "What a n***a gotta do to get that? Put me on" He just laughed when he seen I was sure 17 years breathing his demeanor said more He told me, "n***a you know how you sound right now? You won't my mans, I would think that you a clown right now Listen, you everything I wanna be that's why I f**s with you So how you looking up to me, when I look up to you You bout to go get a degree, I'ma be stuck with two choices Either graduate to weight or selling number two For what? A hundred bucks or two a week? Do you think that you would know what to do if you was me? I got, four brothers, one mother that don't love us If they ain't never want us why the f** they never wore rubbers?" I felt ashamed to have ever complained about my lack of gear And thought about how far we done came From trailer park to a front yard with trees in the sky Thank you mama dry your eyes, there ain't no reason to cry You made a genius and I, ain't gon' take it for granted I ain't gon' settle for lesser, I ain't gon' take what they handed Nah I'm gon' take what they owe me and show you that I can fly And show ol' girl what she missing The illest n***a alive Aye who am I? Things change, rearrange and so do I (Aye who am I?) It ain't always for the better dawg I can't lie (Aye who am I?) I get high cause the lows can be so cold I might bend a little bit but I don't fold One time for my mind and two for yours I got food for your thoughts to sooth your soul If you see my tears fall just let me be Move along, nothing to see I never felt better