Slay bells jingle-ling ring jing jingle-ling Horses, horses, horses, horses Slay bells jingle-ling ring jing jingle-ling (gunshot) Santa claus s** my balls drunk as hell Ringing bells at the malls dancer prancer nixon and cupid I'm a get stupid, ha ha ha, Eh i sat around all night under the chimney Holdin my sack like gimme gimme I know that he's commin he's commin he must lookin up nuthin but rust, dust. Turn on my tv the very next day I see your gettin paid leaden the parade I'm that sniper on the buildin Listen to my nine go click, Santa's a fat b**h (2x) santa claus is a fat b**h Santa claus is a fat b**h Another year and i aint get sh** Another year i aint get sh** if i hear him land on my roof Ohh my undertaker i'm a bust your a** in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth Yeah i got somethin to say about st. nick f** that hoe he never brought jack sh** no toys, candy canes, j Just a lump of coal, So i eat it, cuz there ain't nuttin in the cupboard So i'll be quick, quick and brief All i need for christmas is my two front teeth I got my teeth, kicked out my mouth I need a few numbers could you help me out Should of known i guessed i'd show not a steak No kinda gift i didn't get sh** some say I was bad but that wasn't it it's all because, (2x) santa's a fat b**h Santa claus is a fat b**h Santa f** you cuz your a hoe Another year and i ain't got sh** Another year i ain't get sh** if i hear him land on my roof I'm a bust your a** in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth "oh-ho-ho don't go that way Rudolf that's the ghetto ho-ho those Boys and girls don't deserve anything" (in background: slay bells ringling jing jing jingle-ling horses, horses, Horses, horses) santa claus, santa claus where you been? I see you got cookies and milk on your chin I guess you had time to collect your ends You always been down for your rich friend But rudolf, he don't bring his slay my way Nuthin but dirt and coal for little j I guess you couldn't fit down my chimney shaft You need to loose some of that fat a**, eh All the little rich bays they gettin paid Countin the toys and ducats they made me? I got a little half little chunk of dog sh** I'm a k** that fat b**h santa claus is a fat b**h He ate too much Mcdonalds another year and i aint get sh** Mrs. claus is a ho if i hear him land on my roof Slice that b**h in the big red coat I'm a bust your a** in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth For the neighborhood Christmas and everything's whack Not a creature stirring but a f**in rat I aint hearin jingle bells i aint hearin nuttin Aint smellin no turkey sure as hell aint no stuffin All that i paid wished and prayed That fat mutha f**a would swing my way Drop off soldiers and rubber balls but I woke up and found some crusty old drawers Just as i knew it shaft again, and again, and again,and again Every year i wake up to the same old sh**....house there be no sign of the fat b**h (2x) santa claus is a fat b**h Santa claus is a fat b**h (2x) another year and i aint get sh** Another year i aint get sh** If i hear him land on my roof if i hear him land on my roof I'm a bust your a** in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth (2x) santa claus is a fat b**h Santa claus is a fat b**h Another year and i aint get sh** i aint ge-et shi-it If i hear him land on my roof ro-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoof I'm a bust your a** in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth (record scratching) "he's got a fuzzy whit beard and a great big smile, A bright red hat you can see for a mile, A bag full of goodies and a great big grin, Hear comes santa claus again."