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My daddy is an unqualified Hawaiian satanic convenience food store clerk for the Secret Marines I know cause I pulled the string on the back of his head and he told me of how the men from the Health Department come in and hang the cream donuts on their erections while saluting the flag Little old ladies from down the street hang out playing the video games in the wee hours of the morning and take turns giving daddy gum jobs. But sometimes he gets stuck to their denture cement and you have to use a blow torch... Yesterday I went in to buy some cake and candy, but daddy was putting the pure cane sugar out on the counter in little piles and told me to f** off. I was psychologically despondent over his compendious manner, despite my usual latitudinarian tendencies "What the f** is wrong with you today, old man? Got the rag on your old hag?" Daddy then began to cry and I ran outside into the arms of three ruffians who proceeded to bash my skull into a nearby brick wall. I told them when I grow up I want to be a brain surgeon, just like my little brother. Then I showed them my dick and they all ran away and joined the circus