Zero Mostel - Bring Me My Bride lyrics

[MILES, spoken] Stand aside, everyone! I take large steps [SOLDIERS] One, two! One, two! [MILES] We not only fought, but we won, too! [SOLDIERS] One, two! One, two! Left, right! Left, right! [MILES] There's none of the enemy left, right? [SOLDIERS] Right! Left...right...right? Left? [MILES] Halt! [PSEUDOLUS, spoken] Hail, Miles Gloriosus. Welcome to Rome. Your bride awaits you [MILES, spoken] My bride... (sung) My bride! My bride! I've come to claim my bride Come tenderly to crush her against my side Let haste be made! I cannot be delayed: There are lands to conquer, cities to loot and peoples to degrade [SOLDIERS] Look at those arms! Look at that chest! Look at them! [MILES] Not to mention the rest Even I am impressed! My bride! My bride! Come, bring to me my bride My lust for her no longer can be denied Convey the news! I have no time to lose: There are towns to plunder, temples to burn and women to abuse [SOLDIERS] Look at that foot! Look at that heel! Mark the magnificent muscles of steel! [MILES] I am my ideal! I, Miles Gloriosus I, slaughterer of thousands I, oppressor of the meek Subduer of the weak Degrader of the Greek Destroyer of the Turk Must hurry back to work [MILES:] I, Miles Gloriosus, [ROMANS] He, Miles Gloriosus, [SOLDIERS] A man among men! [MILES:] I, paragon of virtue, [ROMANS] He, paragon of virtue, [SOLDIERS] With sword and with pen! [MILES] I, in war the most admired In wit the most inspired In love the most desired In dress the best displayed-- I am a parade! [SOLDIERS] Look at those eyes, cunning and keen Look at the size of those thighs, like a mighty machine! [PSEUDOLUS] Those are the mightiest thighs that I ever have theen! I mean... [MILES] My bride! My bride! Inform my lucky bride: The fabled arms of Miles are open wide Make haste! Make haste! I have no time to waste: There are shrines I should be sacking Ribs I should be cracking Eyes to gouge and booty to divide Bring me my bride! [COMPANY] Bring him his bride! Bring him his bride!