I'm not a ladies man, I'm a land mine Filming my own fake d**h Under an '88 Cavalier I go But-but-but-but nothing but the rear bumper's blown But I was born for this flight United 955 on the Fifth of July Back to SFO, I I join the dark side In a thin disguise On consumer grade video at night Faking suicide for applause In the food courts of malls And cursing racing horses on church steps Playing the wall at singles bingo All-time gringo Did anyone hear me cry there? Through a toilet-stall divider I swear I care (not.) Am I an example of a calculated birth To a star chart for clowns? (I'm not.) Under Robin's eggs in a nest You hid a manila envelope With one last little Robin's egg in it A hollow bullet yet spent Subject to dismissal I wish all my pitfalls Could be called by this call: Cheeri-A Cheeri-E Cheeri-I Cheeri-O Cheeri-U