Yogscast - Carrot for a Cock lyrics

I remember when it all went wrong Guzzling eggnog all night long We went outside The snow was thick Rolled our balls together made a snowman quick Erecting a friend but there's something left Had to indulge in some carrot theft To make him whole We raided the salad bowl To give him a cla**ic nose I slipped and fell when I put it on Stuck the veg where it didn't belong I went for his face, but i hit below the waist And now he's got a root vegetable dong He's got a carrot for a co*k (Carrot for a co*k) And it gives you quite a shock (Oh, it's unexpected) When you see it in the flesh, so orange and so fresh Looks like its just been pulled from the ground He's got a carrot for a co*k (Carrot for a co*k) It's the biggest on the block (oh what a ma**ive one) The neighbours were upset, my dad saw it as a threat it stood so mighty and so proud Some kind of magic happened then (Uh Oh) He came alive and he was real my friend An excited expression twinkled in his eyes We looked on in surprise as it started to rise Scarf around his neck, his arms are made of bark Get down on your knees he'll help you see in the dark He has a filthy addiction Veg on veg friction Behind the bushes down in the park He's got many dirty habits and it's terrified of rabbits He'll make you moan he's organically grown He's got a carrot for a co*k (Carrot for a co*k) You know it's hard as rock (Oh what a crunchy co*k) He's got coal on his head, No meat but one veg He's packing so much more than just snow (Ho ho ho!) He's got a carrot for a co*k (Carrot for a co*k) But his life's against the clock (Oh such a crying shame) ‘Cause as the sun rose, they'd gritted the road All was left was his bright amber chode You'll remember this December, when you dream of his member Now all that's left is his salty sludge Next time it snows, you all will know He's coming on you from above He's just snowing you all of his love He has a carrot for a co*k (Carrot for a co*k) He's a friend you just can't knock (Oh we want him back!) So when it gets chilly just whip out his willy Scoop up snow and he's ready to go They all have carrots for a co*k (Carrots for a co*k) A movement you can't be stopped (It's a revolution) To make a new best friend, just follow this trend Give him a vegetable bell end CARROT FOR A co*k! YAY!