XTorinX - 2. CHRONIC HALLUCINATORY PSYCHOSIS lyrics

[Verse 1] It's been a while since I've had the motivation to do this I had given up, on my dreams with this music I stopped looking for beats n' stopped writing completely I was stuck reminiscing about touring and how I let it defeat me An' I don't know what it was about it that turned me away Maybe I felt like, I dunno, I was turning a page I still had so much, that I wanted to do I just couldn't for the life of me find the right words to say [Verse 2] See, I saw everyone start spitting n' I'm just so competitive, that I just wanted to kick them out of this house when I should have let them in I hated hearing these new kid's tracks when they started buzzin' This was supposed to be my thing so my mind was like "f** 'em" I was selfish and i have no shame to admit it, I was just to committed to the system I wouldn't listen, in my mind if you weren't my friend you were my competition, on a mission to squash those kids when I should'a tried to befriend them [Verse 3] And I felt I had to put on a persona, to be this hard motherf**er when I just should'a grown up, because I started feeling limited n' felt I had to act like that to hold up an image, just to gain some respect Now I'm done with the politics, I just want to be happy, and truly be myself with this music so when somebody asks me: "Is that really you rapping?" Instead of feeling embarra**ed, I can smile back at 'em n' say "yeah, that's me!" [Verse 4] See this isn't 'bout the money n' looking back, it never was I'd rather be broke doing what I enjoy than rich from something I never loved And I hope you can hear that in all of these sentences. I just grew tired of this game n' now I'm ready to level up And I'm done with this split-personality sh** But sometimes, it takes over and I'm just tryin'a control it 'Cuz I did all this for me and I wouldn't change, a single thing 'cuz I used this to cope It was never 'bout the, fame...