Wonderful Town - Pa** the Football lyrics

Look at me now Four years of college Famous professors Tutoring me Scholarship kid Everything paid for Food and vacations All of it free Day that I left Everyone gathered Their cheering still rings in my ears Ray Wreck rah Rah Wreck Ray Rah Wreck Wreck rah Rah Wreck, Wreck Wreck, we love you 'Cause I could pa** that football Like nothin' you have ever seen Couldn't spell a lick Couldn't do arithmetic One and one made three Thought that dog was C A T But I could pa** that football Like nothin' you have ever seen Couldn't write my name Couldn't translate 'je vous aime' Never learned to read Mother Goose or Andre Gide But I could pa** that football Like nothin' you have ever seen Couldn't figure riddles Puzzles made me pout Where the hell was Moses When the lights went out? I couldn't even tell red from green Get those verbs through my bean But I was buddies with the dean Like nothin' you have ever seen Pa**ed without a fuss English Lit. and Calculus Never had to cram Even pa**ed the bar exam 'Cause I pa**ed that football Like nothin' you have ever seen Couldn't dance for beans Mashed my girls to smithereens Sometimes blood was spilled Still my card was always filled 'Cause I could pa** that football Like nothin' you have ever seen Then there was the week Albert Einstein came to speak 'Relativity' Guess who introduced him? Me 'Cause I could pa** that football Like nothin' you have ever seen Had no table manners Used to dunk my roll Always drunk the water from the fingerbowl Though I would not get up for any she The prexy's Mom, age ninety-three Got up and gave her seat to me Like nothin' you did ever see In our hall of fame There's a statue with my name There we stand, by heck Lincoln, Washington and Wreck 'Cause I could pa** that football Like nothin' you have ever, ever seen