Willie D - Guess My Religion lyrics

Pastor: Hey siter Bettie, sister Clara And who is this? You new here, ain't you brother? Willie D: Yep Pastor: Well welcome to Mount Paid in Full God sure is good, ain't he? Willie D: Sure is Pastor: Well we gonna ask you to put all you valuables in this here cup And pa** all your other metal objects to brother Swaggert You can pick em up over there on the other side Willie D: What, y'all having a problem with weapons or something in Church? Pastor: No, brother, it's just that Pastor Gimme don't want no change in the church Verse 1: Ain't that a b**h, the churchhouse getting rich But I'm looking like dookie on a stick As soon as I walked in, they couldn't wait To pa** that goddamned collection plate And before I could stick my dollar in The ushers were making rounds again To get there I had to hitch a ride And these motherf**ers talking about 20 percent in tithes Telling me it's for the homeless, and those With nowhere to go, but at night the church door is closed Now you can come as you are But you better be sharp as a tack, with a new car Cause if you ain't got that cash Watch them so-called Christians talk about your a** I don't give a f** about your blessings You want to know my religion, why don't you guess it Chorus: (2x) Why's everybody keep playing with God? Verse 2: I gotta talk about these clowns behind the pulpit Cause they full of that bullsh** It's no wonder they think they large With these motherf**ing members treating they a** like God But they ain't God cause God loves everybody But Baptist preachers, they backslide When it comes to m**ms they ain't got no love Now what you motherf**ers scared of? That n***as will abandon your vision And say don't give me that old time religion I'm sick and tired of my homies getting k**ed And the pastor's saying that it's God's will f** the enemy, yo I don't love him That's why I cut for the motherf**ing m**ms Put your hands on me and sh** gets scary I'm a put your a** in a cemetary Now you'll call me Judas and say I ain't right But f** you b**h, they talk about Christ I don't give a f** about your blessings You want to know my religion why don't you guess it Chorus (2x) Verse 3: Now I know why my daddy don't go no more The church ain't nothing but a fashion show They going to meet and greet and peep and gaze They ain't trying to get saved Cause if they was they'd practice what they preached And praise the Lord more than one day out the week Maybe that's why a n***a ain't repenting The churchhouse be having some fine a** women in it And that's why the preacher can't spread the word of the Lord Cause he be looking just as hard It's the blind trying to lead the blind And you wonder why n***as is so behind I can stay my a** at the crib and watch the game If I want to be entertained Cause this sh** done got out of hand Motherf**ers doing the bump in the choir stand You get mad cause I'm questioning your merit But goddamnit if the shoe fit, wear it I don't give a f** about your blessings You want to know my religion why don't you guess it Chorus (4x) This song was inspired by all you so-called saved motherf**ers out there The ones thats backsliding You sinner free motherf**ers that be Jumping up and down in church every Sunday and sh** getting the Holy Ghost But I'm a let you motherf**ers know If one of you hoes fall on me, I'm a knock your a** smooth out I don't give a damn, I'm straight up with it But some of you motherf**ers be Going out to the club on Saturday and sh** And coming to church with a motherf**ing hangover And oh yeah, all you motherf**ing parents That's talking about Willie D is a bad influence on your kids f** you hoes, raise your own motherf**ing kids I ain't no motherf**ing role model You be your motherf**ing kid's role model, motherf**ing loser Yeah, just when a n***a start getting a piece of this apple pie In America, you hoes want to start lining against rap Smashing up tapes and sh**, what you want us to do Start by climbing through your motherf**ing windows In the middle of the night? You better speed on before you get peed on Now let the congregation say Amen