William Finn - Stupid Things I Won't Do lyrics

[ADAM] Reading papers when there ain't a review Is a stupid thing And I won't do it When I read I want to read something new Or why read anything at all Wars will always happen There's always strife But opening a show Just happens one time in its life And that's why reading papers when there ain't a review Is a stupid thing that I won't do No no no... You can k** me You can grill me You can cuff me on the ear I still won't do You can boot me You can shoot me But that's not a thing that I will do Men may laugh And women may chortle But there's a reason I'm immortal And reading rags when they're ain't a review Is a stupid thing that I won't do (spoken) And another thing, while we're on the subject (sung) Making movies in Hollywood- Stupid thing I won't do it Bet your booties I'd be god damned good But that's not a game that I will play I'm a seasoned actor I don't skate, I don't dive The only roles I want Are roles where I'm performing live in person Making movies in Hollywood: Is a stupid thing that I won't do No, no, you can k** me You can bill me You can nail me to the wall I still won't do it You can maim me Defame me But there are certain things I won't pursue I've achieved my awesome potential By focusing on what's essential And making movies, Hollywood: Stupid! Living life like a normal person: Stupid thing I won't do it After five minutes as a normal person You can lock me in a mental ward And throw away the key Though I live with pa**ion and joy and rage The only time I feel alive is when I'm on the stage And that is why living life Like a normal person Is a stupid thing that I won't do No, no I need theater I love theater It's the food that I eat Eight times a week God bless theater Life is weirder Maybe not, but whi;s to say What can be more prim and officious Than cleaning floors and washing dishes Good for them Who can do those things But they're not the things that I can do No, no, no Good for them Who can do thise things But they're not things that I can Do do do do do do do do do do do do Those are things that I can't Never have Never will Be able to do