William Bolcom - Lime Jell-O Marshmallow Cottage Cheese Surprise lyrics

Ladies, the minutes will soon be read today The garden club and weaving cla** I'm sure have much to say But next week is our culture night, our biggest, best event And I've just made a dish for it you'll all find heaven-sent It's my lime Jell-O marshmallow cottage cheese surprise With slices of pimento. You won't believe your eyes! All topped with a pineapple ring and a dash of mayonnaise My vanilla wafers round the edge will win your highest praise And Mrs. Jones is making scones that are filled with peanut mousse To be followed by a chicken mold that's made in the shape of a goose For ladies who must watch those pounds, we've found a special dish Strawberry ice enshrined in rice with bits of tuna fish! And my lime Jell-O marshmallow cottage cheese surprise Truly a creation that description defies Will go so well with Mrs. Bell's creation of the week Shrimp salad topped with chocolate sauce and garnished with a leek And Mrs. Perkins' walnut loaf that's crowned with melted cheese Was such a hit last culture night we asked, "No seconds, please." Now you must try her hot dog pie with candied mushroom slices Those ladies who resigned last year, they just don't know what nice is And my lime Jell-O marshmallow cottage cheese surprise I did not steal that recipe! It's lies, I tell you! Lies! Our grand award: a picture hat and a salmon sequined gown For any girl who tries each dish and keeps her whole lunch down I'm sure you all are waiting for the biggest news: dessert! We thought of things in molds and rings your diet to subvert You must try our chocolate layer cake on a peanut brittle base With slices of bananas that make a funny face Around the edges, peppermints just swimming in peach custard With lovely little curlicues of lovely yellow mustard If all this is too much for you, permit me to advise More lime Jell-O marshmallow cottage cheese surprise I've made heaps!