WigWam - Horaces's Aborted Rip-Off Scheme lyrics

Pembroke-Rechardt An operator by the name of Horace made a deal with Jake'n Boris 'bout how the flop-house that they ran just had to go so they planned to have an accident pick up the thirty-three per-cent and retire somewhere out of the snow. They'd figured that the bigger the policy the better so sent a letter to the company in the know, under-estimating the endurance of the insurance-agents from outa town who'd get their man and throw 'em in clink for the great insurance shake-down rip-off the faked-up take-all slip-off scheme. They thought they'd have a fire so endeavoured to aquire the utensils necessary for the show bought blow-lamps, pumps and matches fire-lighter sticks in batches and retired to the woods with all in tow. They'd calculated that the smaller the fuss they made the all-the-more chance they had of pulling off the stunt understimatin' the endurance of the insurance agents from outa town who always liked their money up-front for stopping the great insurance shake down rip-off the faked-up take-all slip-off scheme Thought they'd take a dreamboat journey to Malasia or Easter Island teach those natives something useful diggin' holes with style and status The scheme wasn't perfect but it didn't seem-to bad It had a good chance of working and it was the best one they had. The great Insurance shake-down rip-off the staked-out make-off baked-up chip-off the faked up take-all slip-off scheme. But the night before the accident Horace had a premonition of the condition he'd be in after an arrest Boris would double-cross him make off with the dough and toss him into a pit of crocodiles and foul-pest aargh! And he'd be chained down in a cell up the hall-way from hell and be a subject to crudities to a strainend degree and the investore they would stone him and that Jake, he would 'phone him and inform him that it wouldn't work anyway forget it the Great Insurance shake-down rip-off the baked-up make-off break-off slip-off scheme.