Weird Al Yankovic - School Cafeteria - Version 1 lyrics

Is it on? Okay 1, 2, 1, 2, 5, 6 Let me tell you 'bout the school cafeteria It's got all the others beat It sells over four million burgers a year Just think, that's almost two pounds of meat My ice cream sandwich is lukewarm But my burrito is much too cold A school cafeteria is the only place That sells artificially colored mold You know a school cafeteria believes in ma** production They buy those lousy soy beans by the keg I don't like to complain, but in a school cafeteria You can get a taco and get Bubonic Plague Today in the school cafeteria They introduced a brand new malt It's called boysenberry dysentery Please pa** the salt The tunafish sandwiches'll make you ill The enchiladas are enough to k** Before you eat, you'd better make out your will In the school cafeteria today Say, boys and girls, tired of being skinny Eat a school lunch today All starch and cholesterol Absolutely no protein Remember, fourteen million teenagers can't be wrong Feel your arteries growing hard As you eat another healthy spoonful of lard It's no wonder that the food is so gross The health department is afraid to come close So everybody better hold your nose In the school cafeteria today So listen very closely, all you girls and guys Here's a little message to the wise You'd better not try the chili surprise In the school cafeteria today, oh yeah In the school cafeteria today