Weird Al Yankovic - I'll Repair For You ( A Theme For Home Improvement ) lyrics

So you got dry rot and your water pressure's weak Your trash compactor's broke, the roof has sprung a leak You just found out your toilet's overflowed And your smoke detector's smoking and your heater's gonna explode But I'll repair for you (when the roof starts to fall) I'll repair for you (all the cracks in your wall) I'll repair for you (every nail, bolt and screw) Your washer's busted and your faucet drips all night You got some termites with a healthy appetite Well have no fear, I'll patch up every hole And I'm licensed and I'm bonded, even se habla espanol So I'll repair for you (when your doorknob is loose) I'll repair for you (when your plunger's no use) I'll repair for you (with a caulk and hot glue) I am prepared to tackle all kinds of paste and spackle You got a leaky shower, I'll be there in an hour With stucco, bricks and plaster, I am a Jedi master We'll help you through your crisis Check out our low, low prices too, yeah Your floors are sagging and your plumbing's shot But if you don't mind my hairy bu*t crack every time that I squat I'll repair for you, anything that you need I'll repair for you, and my word's guaranteed I'll repair for you, I'll rewire it too I'll repair for you I'll repair for you I'll repair for you, every nail, bolt and screw