I sat at a bar having a beer Trying to hold down the stool When a stranger walked in stood there beside me And plopped down there like a fool. He started drinking then he started talking About things that were wrong in his life The more that I heard the more I believed The thing that was wrong was his wife. You talk about beauty when we first met She was all a man could desire Talk about love one night with her Would set your very soul on fire. But loves little flame is out of control About three feet high from behind Ever since we've been married well, I've come to believe That love's for the dumb and the blind. 'Cause you talk about ugly when she gets mad She goes from Jek** to Hyde She grits her teeth and her eyes roll back And pivot from side to side. She completely rewrites the whole English language Descriptive four lettered and loud Now I can't out think her but I can sure out drink her And that's what I'm doing here now. I've spent seven years with the wrong woman Seven and going on eight She spent seven years naggin' and eatin' I'm overwrought and she's overweight. If I try leavin' she has me arrested And takes her own sweet time gettin' me out If she ain't number one she's in the top two Of things that I could live without. Men commit murder and all kinds of mayhem In a few years they're back on the streets Highway robbery and white collar crime And they laugh at the system they beat. Sometimes I'm tempted sometimes I'm ashamed Of the things that the law will allow I could have k**ed her when I first met her And I'd have been out of jail by now. I could have k**ed her when we first met And I've have been out of jail by now...