I got a new kind of s**y I'm working on a recipe for rich And exotic combinations of some fresh kinds of s**y A new kind of s**y, yeah My face is like the California government In terms of how it tends to budget what it's covered in Hair follicles are public school doors Every day I open up a new pore and close two more But it's improper now to comment on what's risen Because pimples pop up commoner than prisons It's all blackheads, no justice now But they get overcrowded and I bust 'em out I'm like pop! pop! motherf**er, I'm a bad man And some day my skin'll crack like the Badlands Like my dad's is But if that's all, I don't give a rat's balls I'll wear them like they're badges Damn a boy scout, they're man scout patches Because I'm endowed, and how, dammit And I know my body makes you want to hang out bad The way my skin is cleaner than a Shamwow ad And someday you'll see my stubble from the Hubble On my mama on the double I'ma look like Barney Rubble Yo I'm talkin' like a Harry and the Hendersons Notice every time my knuckles bury to the bend again 'Cause follicles by flying out my wild pores Double standard 'cause I love my body hair but mind yours, girl I'm grizzly-esque You bet he think the yetis wonder is he blessed? My shoulder hair sheen like a solar flare I'm a polar bear seekin' out a ball of Nair Wuzzy fuzzy from his childhood or early days Every time I cook I guzzle up a dozen curly strays Yucky! My tweezers stay plucky And your girlie gets to floss her teeth every time she's... Well, kissin' on my lower regions The reason that I keep it's 'cause it's good for colder seasons But in the summer time I'm the a**hole Sunbathing at the beach, belly like an afro I got a plan laid for my next planned date Tell the ward and Weezy wait I forgot to manscape But for now I got a new kind of s**y I'm working a theory of a new and experimental Blend of different rare kinds of s**y A new kind of s**y I got a couple regrettable tattoos But you can't see 'em when I wear a black suit Got it drunk of of Jägers out in Vegas last June At water parks kids yell, "Look at that douche!" You know that saying that if looks could k**? Well, my style is harmless; I shop at Goodwill Hint of pifter, swap meet hood feel Four-stripe Adidas, but that sh** look real (Good deal!) Call me a fashionista Skinny dude, gimme food, cash or Visa A freeloader with weeks of weed odor Tryin' to get the freaks to scream like Ricola! One chick for me and one chick for Watsky He love them older women that be screamin' out "Yahtzee!" Topsy-turvy, I'm not so pervy Compared to Intuition, the way he knock them girlies We like 'em brown, yellow, Puerto Rican or Haitian A new kind of s**y is sweepin' the nation I'm impatient But yesterday I bought a pullup bar I made plans to go jog down the boulevard I changed my culinary choices from full of starch To full of sh** It's a total farce I haven't run a lap in years but I'll crack a beer And run the poker table like a f**in' racketeer I'm like Boom shakalack! f** Let's have a potluck I got a hot buck Burning a hole in my pocket so let's hit the tac' truck Jock's s** Just throw everything we got In the wok and let's grub 'Till it looks like we're knocked up I got a new kind of s**y I'm working on a recipe for rich And exotic combinations of some fresh kinds of s**y A new kind of s**y Justin brought s**y back But that s**y's a cheap one So we brought that s**y back And exchanged it for a refund We got a, we got a new kind of... A new and shiny kind of... A new and shiny kind of...