Waldfield - DTFM lyrics

[Verse 1] I'm down at my hometown's library, saw this girl, she was half naked Sittin' on the floor next to the poetry section Exactly where i was headed, so I could check out Some Rudyard Kipling, or T.S. Eliot She gives me the eye, and she knows that I felt it My member's swellin' and my legs is meltin' Next she asks me if I can help her with somethin' "Um, of course. don't even mention it" She walks in the direction of the quiet study rooms So, soon, we can do a private tutoring session She close the door, and asks me a question What do I think of the shape that her a** is in? I had already ran an inspection; I said "Your booty's majestic Shining, shimmering, splendid I'm gonna get up in there and upend it I'ma wreck it when I get it, I'ma vivisect it" And I said it on record, you heard a flow like this ever? Double a**onance 28 times in 50 seconds; I'm a legend [Verse 2] She hops on the table, somethin' falls out her bag A book, and not one from the library stacks Yo, my heart stopped when I saw the title A personalized copy of the holy bible ("Now what was I to do?") I'm fidgeting around, and staring at my shoes She's puttin' slander on her own gender I know what it says in the Leviticus chapter "Menstruation is unclean, and so are female babies" But I f**ed a girl on her period last Wednesday And y'all don't understand how great it was The sight of my own dick, covered in blood Thinking back on it makes me want to masturbate But the bible would call that a damnable mistake How can they say my favorite hobby is evil? For that matter, how can they persecute gay people? And all the ways that christians protest science They're the enemy of progress, the enemy of enlightenment And I know that there are good christians too But the bible villifies polyester and seafood So how can you take the bible seriously? It was written two millennia before heliocentricity And yeah folks of different faiths have got to get along But imagine the church reacting to my other songs Play "High School Orgy" to a pastor He'd start callin' me a poor lost ba*tard Hittin' me with his rosary like a whip But I'm all "Don't stop, father, I like it" I don't know how much time had pa**ed Before I snapped back, and remembered where I was at In the library with this beauty queen Who's spreadin' her legs like Moses spread the seas And then she wraps 'em around me Starts leanin' forward like she's ready to go down on me And for a moment I consider it But I've got this feeling, in the pit of my stomach She hopped back down and pressed her body up to mine And said "Enough foolin', it's time to break my spine" But I stood there, frozen Actually pa**in' up an opportunity for bonin' She didn't get it, she asked me how I felt I said I'm DTFM, Down To f** Myself ...So peace out on it, homie