Victoria Wood - Barry and freda - live lyrics

Freda and Barry sat one night The sky was clear, the stars were bright The wind was soft, the moon was up Freda drained her cocoa cup She licked her lips she felt sublime! She switched off Gardener's Question Time Barry Cringed in fear and dread As Freda Grabbed his tie and said: Let's do it, let's do it, do it while the mood is right! I'm feeling, appealing I've really got an appetite I'm on fire With desire- I could handle half the tennors in a male voice choir Let's do it, let's do it tonight! But he said: I can't do it, I can't do it I don't believe in too much s** This fashion For pa**ion Turns us into nervous wrecks No derision My decision: I'd rather watch the Spinners on the television I can't do it, I can't do it tonight So she said Let's do it, let's do it, do it till our hearts go boom Go native Creative Living in the living room This folly For jolly; Bend me backwards on me hostess trolley! Let's do it, let's do it tonight But he said I can't do it, I can't do it, my heavy-breathing days are gone I'm older, feel colder; It's other things that turn me on I'm inploring- I'm boring- Let me read this catalogue on vinyl flooring! I can't do it, I can't do it tonight Then she said Let's do it, let's do it, have a crazy night of love! I'll strip bare I'll just wear Stilettos and an oven glove! Don't starve a girl of a palaver Dangle from the wardrope in your balaclava Let's do it, let's do it tonight! But he said I can't do it, I can't do it I know ill only get it wrong Don't angle For me to dangle My arms have never been that strong; Stop pouting! Stop shouting- You know I pulled a muscle when I did that grouting I can't do it, I can't do it tonight Let's do it, let's do it, share a night of wild romance! Frenetic Poetic, this could be your last big chance! To quote Milton To eat stilton To roll with gay abandon on the tufted wilton! Let's do it, let's do it tonight! I can't do it, I can't do it I've got other little jobs on hand Don't grouse Around the house I've got a busyt evening planned Stop nagging! I'm flagging; You know as well as i do that the pipes want lagging I can't do it, I can't do it tonight Let's do it, let's do it, while I'm really in The mood... Three cheers! It's years Since I caught you even semi-nude Get drasitic Gymnastic- Wear your baggy Y-fronts with the loose elastic but Let's do it, Let's do it tonight! I can't do it, I can't do it I must refuse to get undressed I feel silly It's to chilly To go with out my thermal vest Don't choose me Don't use me My mother sent a note to say you must excuse me I can't do it, I can't do it tonight Let's do it, let's do it, I really apsolutly must I won't exempt you Want to temp you Want to drive you mad with lust No contortions: Smear an avocardo on my lower portions! Let's do it, let's do it tonight! I can't do it, I can't do it It's really not my cup of tea; I'm hara**ed Embarra**ed; I wish you hadn't picked on me No barter — A non-starter; I feel about as sensuous as Jimmy Carter I can't do it, can't do it tonight Let's do it, let's do it, I really want to run amock! Let's wriggle! Let's jiggle! Let's really make the rafters rock! Be mighty Be flighty come and melt the bu*tons on my flame-proof nightie! Let's do it, let's do it tonight! Let's do it, let's do it, I really want to rant and rave! Let's go Cos i know just Just how you want to behave: Not bleakly Not meekly- Beat me on the bottom with the Woman's weekly- Let's do it, let's do it tonight!