dogs are barking, birds are chirping the only thing better if I was squirting but there's no one here to love on me today for the maiden's on holiday for the maiden's on holiday I'm a sorry, sorry knight in a horrible castle hoping to avoid certain societal ha**les and I know what they say but I ain't made of clay for the maiden's on holiday yeah, the maiden's on holiday I ain't nothing but chivalrous ain't never been nothing nasty between us she knows where she stands on the heart of a broken man I'm gonna be bad no matter what so I might as well go on ahead and act like a bu*t any ol' way, yeah, I'm still gonna pay for the maiden's on holiday yeah, the maiden's on holiday