Vic Chesnutt - Worst Friend lyrics

You got one friend who's a flight attendant You got one friend who likes speed You got one friend who always wants To smoke inside of your house You got one friend who secretly likes To get peed on s**ually You got one friend who is, oh, so natural And got one friend we all call the retard You got one friend fighting cancer You got one friend who I bet right now Is barking out in the yard But I'm the worst friend in the world I'm the worst friend in the world When you are down, I'm nowhere to be found I'm the worst friend in the world You got one friend who's in Iraq You got one friend who dresses like little bo peep You got one friend who is in prison You got one friend who's really Really in defeat, s**ually You got one friend who could be a competitive eater You got one friend who's one of those bad movie buffs You got one friend who touched you inappropriately And one friend who you are pining to touch But I'm the worst friend in the world I'm the worst friend in the world When you are down, I'm nowhere to be found I'm the worst friend in the world You got one friend who's Emic Arthur fellow You got one friend who a widower You got one friend who claims to have taken A dump in the White House You got one friend who just gave birth to twins You got one friend who goes to the gym At least twice a day And one friend recovered from severe burns You got one friend who rubbed his penis On TV's actual 'Wheel of Fortune' And one friend who y'all ain't Y'all ain't even on speaking terms