Various Artists - Criminalz - k**a-kc With Eminem lyrics

[Eminem] A lot of people ask me.. stupid f**in questions A lot of people think that.. what I say on records or what I talk about on a record, that I actually do in real life or that I believe in it Or if I say that, I wanna k** somebody, that.. I'm actually gonna do it or that I believe in it Well, sh**.. if you believe that then I'll k** you You know why? Cuz I'm a CRIMINAL CRIMINAL You god damn right I'm a CRIMINAL Yeah, I'm a CRIMINAL [Eminem] My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge That'll stab you in the head whether you're a f*g or lez Or the h*mos**, hermaph or a trans-a-vest Pants or dress - hate f*gs? The answer's "yes" h*mophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic Starin at my jeans, watchin my genitals bulgin (Ooh!) That's my motherf**in balls, you'd better let go of em They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of em Hey, it's me, Versace Whoops, somebody shot me! And I was just checkin the mail Get it? Checkin the 'male'? How many records you expectin to sell after your second LP sends you directly to jail? C'mon!-- Relax guy, I like gay men Right, Ken? Give me an amen (AAA-men!) Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus Heal this child, help us destroy these demons Oh, and please send me a brand new car And a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital Preacher preacher, fifth grade teacher You can't reach me, my mom can't neither You can't teach me a goddamn thing cause I watch TV, and Comcast cable and you ain't able to stop these thoughts You can't stop me from toppin these charts And you can't stop me from droppin each March with a brand new cd for these f**in retards Duhhh, and to think, it's just little ol' me Mr. "Don't Give A f**," still won't leave [Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)] I'm a CRIMINAL Cuz every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime to tell em what's on my mind - I guess I'm a CRIMINAL but I don't gotta say a word, I just flip em the bird and keep goin, I don't take sh** from no one [Eminem] My mother did d** - tar, liquor, cigarettes, and speed The baby came out - disfigured, ligaments indeed It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she Don't dare make fun of that baby cause that baby was me I'm a CRIMINAL - an animal caged who turned crazed But how the f** you sposed to grow up when you weren't raised? So as I got older and I got a lot taller My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger I drink more liquor to f** you up quicker than you'd wanna f** me up for sayin the word ... My morals went thhbbpp when the president got oral Sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk Off of his own employee Now don't ignore me, you won't avoid me You can't miss me, I'm white, blonde-haired and my nose is pointy I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die in plane crashes and laughs As long as it ain't happened to him Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Em -inem and Kim combined - [*kch*] the maniac's in Replacin the doctor cause Dre couldn't make it today He's a little under the weather, so I'm takin his place (Mm-mm-mmm!) Oh, that's Dre with an AK to his face Don't make me k** him too and spray his brains all over the place I told you Dre, you should've kept that thang put away I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it, eh? I'm a CRIMINAL [Interlude Skit] Aight look (uh huh) just go up in that motherf**er get the motherf**in money and get the f** up outta there [Em] Aight I'll be right here waitin on you [Em] Aight Yo Em [Em] What?! Don't k** nobody this time [Em] Awwright... god damn, f**... (whistling) how you doin'? [Teller] HI, how can I help you? [Eminem] Yeah I need to make a withdrawl [Teller] Okay [Eminem] Put the f**in money in the bag b**h and I won't k** you! [Teller] What? Oh my god, don't k** me [Eminem] I'm not gonna k** you b**h, quit lookin around... [Teller] Don't k** me, please don't k** me... [Eminem] I said I'm not gonna f**in k** you Hurry the f** up! [*BOOM*] Thank you! [k**a-Kc] Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it So I'll be disguised in it And if anybody identifies the guy in it I'll hide for five minutes Come back, shoot the eyewitness Fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business Die, b**hes, ba*tards, brats, pets This puppy's lucky I didn't blast his a** yet [*dog whines*] If I ever gave a f**, I'd shave my nuts tuck my dick inbetween my legs and cluck You motherf**in chickens ain't brave enough to say the stuff I say, so just tape it shut [*tape unrolls*] sh**, half the sh** I say, I just make it up To make you mad so kiss my white naked a** And if it's not a rapper that I make it as I'ma be a f**in rapist in a Jason mask [Chorus 2X]