I bear lots of animosity to bell hops They never bring my luggage up on time And taxi drivers really tax my patience If they vanished, would it really be a crime? I don't like meter maids or underwater welders Health fanatic cooks, or camera crews! Not fond of monks or yoga teachers, or sports fans in the bleachers And I'm not sure how I'm feeling about you! There are lots of horrid people on this planet That I would love to give a lashing to But my goody two-shoes brother The favorite of my mother Is the one I want to smother In a ton of pigeon goo! Yes, my goody-two shoes brother The favorite of my mother He's the one I want to smother Thank you sir, I'll have another! He's the one I want to smother In a ton of pigeon goo!