[Intro: Jean Grae] Yeah. This the one they told me not to put out. But you got to give the people what they want. So brothers, sisters, I've been holding this one back. This one for y'all. Let's go [Verse 1: Jean Grae] I'm feeling numb, thinking of changing my name to Crystal Meth I'm playing this game, holding my mic like a pistol, aiming at d**h And I love nobody. Alone in this world—that's how I came in it But sh** could flash and reverse the same in a minute I don't even love life no more—my n***as, I just live it And I don't love love. All the hurting is infinite I cry myself to sleep sometimes, wept a gallon of tears From malice, divorced mates to lost peers Drowned it in a haze of smoke and gla**es that never ran empty Bottles of So-Co, cheap vodka and 20/20 Spending my pennies for thoughts on quarts of Henny Fame? Got none. Pain? Like the movie, have plenty Like a shotgun, double-barrel fully loaded, ready to blow I want to turn around and aim at myself Been failing my health. I hardly even eat no more My lunch is munchies from the corner store, tropical fantasy Me and my family, me and my n***as used to be tight But now we see each other on the block with no pounds And keep it moving. Gotta move on I know I'm doing it right. I'm still living, hustling life Still, sh** Hook: Jean Grae] For all my n***as, smoke a pack a day For all my n***as, hold a bottle, drink the pain away What type of life is this? For all my n***as getting the cash and all my n***as who chill on the ave Let's keep living For all my n***as, drink the pain away For all my n***as, smoke a pack of Newports a day What type of life is this? For all my n***as getting the cash and all my n***as who chill on the ave Let's keep living. Let's keep living [Verse 2: Jean Grae] Grew up a child of an alcoholic, sister to schizophrenic And already inherited one and they both are genetic When sun falls, I gets no sleep. Nights is filled With party and bullsh**, Bacardi and full clips Just to deal with it. Got a full heart, but I don't feel With it no more. I have fury of woman who scorned Just live my life like the X-Files and trust nobody Forgetting everyone. Now I'm just for getting the money Funny how sh** can change and switch up, fragile to rip on you Spent too much of my young life just trying to stitch sh** up Uh. I'm living day-by-day now. Every step is play-by-play Hand to mouth. I'm just trying to make the moments count Eyes read, stressing my soul. Chest grows From heavy smoking addict since nine. A nicotine addict Devoted at it but, still, I need some type of release I quit the trees at least Yo, I'm learning, n***as, but I'm slow at it Always gave my motherf**ers the benefit of the doubt But it seems that everybody's just out for self I used to love her. Now I gotta make her work for my wealth I gotta eat, y'all [Hook: Jean Grae] For all my n***as, smoke a pack a day For all my n***as, hold a bottle, drink the pain away What type of life is this? For all my n***as getting the cash and all my n***as who chill on the ave Let's keep living For all my n***as, drink the pain away For all my n***as, smoke a pack of Newports a day What type of life is this? For all my n***as getting the cash and all my n***as who chill on the ave Let's keep living. Let's keep living [Verse 3: Jean Grae] It's from rapping to nicotine, n***as clapping and n***as'll fiend From some sh** I haven't seen to everything I've been through It's like losing the love of your life twice in the same night Being deaf for years, gained your hearing and losing your sight Trying to shine but I'm just getting eclipsed I'm just trying to find the perfect words to fall from my lips Thinking too hard about what sh** has fallen—mainly the chips Hoping the next time it's storming, that I'm not attempting to slit wrists Got nothing now. I'll work my way up from the bottom To the top of the ladder, claim what's rightfully mine I'm working against time. It's been too long And I haven't even had a chance to leave y'all yet. I apologize Getting older, wiser, seen the picture painted My destiny fated for this and not for easy times I put my heart in these rhymes for always Love it or leave it or ready to die Yeah, I'm ready. Come on