I used to dream that I would discover the perfect lover some day I knew I'd recognize him If ever he came around my way I always used to fancy then He'd be one of the god-like kind of men With a giant brain and a noble head Like the heroes bold in the books I've read But along came Bill who's not the type at all You'd meet him on the street and never notice him His form and face, his manly grace Are not the kind that you would find in a statue Oh I can't explain, it's surely not his brain That makes me thrill, I love him Because he's wonderful, because he's just my Bill He can't play golf or tennis or polo Or sing a solo or row He isn't half as handsome As dozens of men that I know He isn't tall and straight and slim And he dresses far worse than Ted or Jim Oh, I can't explain why he should be Just the one, one man in the world for me He's just my Bill, an ordinary man He hasn't got a thing that I can brag about And yet to be upon his knee So comfy and roomy, feels natural to me Oh, I can't explain, it's surely not his brain That makes me thrill, I love him Because he's, I don't know, because he's just my Bill