Unkle - Schemes lyrics

[Intro] (Uncle Lupe) Alright it's time to go to sleep (Hey Uncle Lupe) What? (Can you please tell us a bedtime story?) Ugh, it's late man Okay, okay okay, check this out, listen [Verse 1] Cold k**er, bold old guerrilla Bold as a font with the thickness Old as yellow gold in a Chevrolet with a stick shift The story goes his mother left him on a church step First step was out the front door then the first left Down the block to the spots where the worst kept Thirty years later got a thirty tier caper To shoot up the scene and scheme Plot, broken all down to two rounds of scotch A pound means now and we too down to stop Say ya got enough round for two thousand cops Military grade, these things shoot round the block Shh threat, check The dame will hang out like chains round the neck He ever seen her before, her face don't connect No, so keep it on the low, go Seizes her by the arm Looks right into the eyes cause these be the charms Sheba, King Tut suite at the Khalifa Tied to a chair getting burned by Cohibas A well dressed thug who run clubs in the Koreas The room smells like fresh hand made tortillas He recognized the tattoos of a real big Maui brother Known for bad news when his cash rules Are you familiar with the shell of the cashews? As he holds the needle up to the light bulb White girls enter drunk, he stands up runs to the window and jumps Aim for the pool... splash The impact from that almost split him in half Voice from the past asks did he enjoy the bath Laughs with his arm in a cast, hold up [Hook] Never what it seems, everybody wanna be seen On the cover of a magazine Everybody want big things Everybody want big dreams Everybody want bling bling Everybody wanna be the king Everybody bling Everybody sings Everybody wanna big thing In the valley of kings and pyramid schemes It's never what it seems, everybody wanna be seen On the cover of a magazine Everybody wanna sip lean Everybody want a big dreams Everybody want bling bling Everybody want C.R.E.A.M Everybody wanna have a team Everybody wanna be the king Everybody want a big scheme in the land of pyramid schemes [Verse 2] As he tried to do the math with Smearcon the fed The contract states from here upon you're dead The girl at the bar is an underworld star Settling on debts with north Zanzibar Your name's on the list, kitsch A hundred million dollars worth of high grade fish Tuna, Tokyo cartels worlds biggest consumer A rumor bout a schooner off the coast of Montezuma They say you slit the throat of a well known kahuna Then torched the boat and fled into the Dunya You're hated more than a Kalua pig at a Jumu'ah They want your head on a platter, not right now but sooner I got you a .45 and a Mitsubishi tuner Wait, wait I've never been to Costa Rica And then it all comes back Just as Smearcon falls with a ninja star in his head like..huh Then they slowly enter the room I grabbed a .45, the ninja stars resume I catch him in the cast and answer them with a blast, blow Three more shots for good measure Only exit is another window, pfft, whatever Short fall to the roof of the car Then I get in, left arm covered in ninja stars Then a zero to a hundred baby real quick Look around the car for something else to k** with Lamborghini headlights in the rear view These Parisian streets not meant to veer through Especially with just one hand I let go to shoot back but the gun jams Mitsubishi not built to outrun Lambs So they gaining, heavy raining Rear view explodes from deadly aiming Arm paining, blood draining Pains, head for the Louvre Drive right through the gla** pyramid with dope moves A little shook from the landing Driving through the Louvre in a rally car with great handling Was at the Mona Lisa Stop the car right in front of the Delacroix and have a breather Press play on the radio, voice from the speaker Says get to Belgrade and take an ad out in the daily Politika They says for a good time call this Ecuador slash Venezuelan chica Next day at the airport meeted by a greeter who looks Corsican but Greeker A little older wearing Michael Jordan sneakers But I follow the leader 1995 S. Cla**, in the back seat is a dead man whose car I just crashed Smearcon's alive, audience now wonders how Smearcon survived Let alone not be hurt, he taps a metal plate in his head from his Afghanistan work What Visine for red retinas, what else would you expect from head predators Ex-lecturer, at Exeter, the dean too secular So now I'm totes hecklers, everywhere Now Smearcon's on the team, so everybody's down for the scheme [Interlude 1] (The final chapter in the incredible ape saga) (Smearcon's back!) [Verse 3] Now it's time to finish this, getting too late for international syndicates To which the driver reveals his membership This won't end well, he pulls out a grenade and says (Damn you all to hell!) [Interlude 2] (Wait, what happened? Uncle Lupe what's going on?) Go to sleep (But what happened? I don't understand) Nope (Please finish the story please) Storytime's over You asked for a story I gave you one Take it, just take it (This is the worst bedtime story ever) Bye [Verse 4] Psych s**er, Smearcon is back You really think that he would go out like that? They're under attack, MAC under the back... [Outro] I'm just playing, it's really over It's the end of the tape Thank y'all man Pharaoh Height two thirty, Yeah Shout to DJ Busy You know how we do Uhh Uhh hah Hope you all enjoyed it man, Yeah Scott what up What you thought I couldn't do this no more, huh? Man listen, lets let this play out Bogglin' Giblets