Travis Gibbs - High Opinions (skit) lyrics

Intro: (introducing a bill that will end marijuana prohibition) Crack f**ed up the world Marijuana: i guess i'll start by saying that i think that there are good d** and bad d** and its time we started differentiating between the two Crack: exactly,we are d** man so lets stop the insanity you know and finally legalise crystal meth Marijuana: thats a horrible idea Crack: well,no but but for medical reasons of course Marijuana: medical meth ? Crack: yeah,man if the doctor say it helps cures gout than why not let grandma gack out on some tweek yo know Marijuana: ok no doctor has ever said that Crack: shhhh ohhhhh shhhhhh did you hear that do you hear that right now?oh my god what is that? what is that? oh god wait thats my heart thats my heart wow thats loud Marijuana: your made out of battery acid and drain cleaner Crack: hey man can i trust you because i think the government is against me Marijuana: they should be Crack: the cia has an army of spies watching me 24/7 and thats why i hide in the bushes infront of my house every night with a stake knife Marijuana: folks this is exactly what im talking about meth makes you paranoid and crazy unlike pot which is totally safe Crack: safe? that stuff takes away Ur motivation i mean do you even have a job like me breaking down boxes at the safe way 17/18 hours a day no you dont Marijuana: ok,hold on a second,i need water quick water Crack: cumin bro look dont you wana have s** with stranges in truck stop bathrooms for money how great does that sound Oh god my tooth fell out Marijuana: dont you want to go to a fish concert Crack: nooooooooo nobody wants to go to a fish concert Marijuana: no one wants to s** trucker dicks for money Crack: and i thought you where cool you where the gateway drug Marijuana: hey cumon,im still illegally on a Federal level see,ok the states made me legal but the federal gov and the epa where like,wait no the DEA was...... Crack: the cia is behind everything them and the masons and its all conected bro and they are always watching us so ain't nothing we can do because they know everything u get what im saying Marijuana: wait what where we talking about? Crack: i need to borrow 25000 from you or someone you know Marijuana: why do you.... Crack: can you make that happen Marijuana: no i absolutely not Crack: i neeed you to burn down my sister inlaws house tonight Marijuana: (laughing) what? Crack: tonight and its got to be tonight Marijuana:why,why does it have to be tonight Crack: and i can't explain anything else to you Marijuana: ok,i should just let you talk cause ur soft of digging ur on grave here Crack: are you gonna help me or not