Tom Whalley - Emba**y Lament lyrics

[Emba**y Officials] Oh, my dear how boring He's defecting Just like all the others He's expecting Us to be impressed With what he's done here But he hasn't stopped To think about the paperwork His gesture causes-- We've an emba**y to run here If these people can't strike Blows for freedom With a valid visa We don't need 'em If we seem offhand Then please remember This is nothing very special He's the fourth we've had Since last November Who do these foreign Chappies think they are? [Official #1] And when he's safely in the West He'll be the subject to discuss The media will lionize him Fame and fortune plus [Emba**y Officials] No-one will recall it's Thanks to us [Official #1, spoken] You have a wife? [Anatoly, spoken] Yes [Official #3, spoken] You have two children? [Anatoly, spoken] Yes [Official #2, spoken] And they're not coming with you? [Anatoly, spoken] No, not for the moment [Official #4, spoken] You play chess. You are good at it? [Official #3 whispers in #4's ear] [Official #4, spoken] Oh. I hear you're world champion [Anatoly, spoken] Since yesterday [Officials, spoken] That's still good [Officials, sung] Have you an appointment With the consul? If you don't We know what his Response'll be He will not see you-- With respect it buggers up His very taxing schedule Pushing peace and understanding Let us hope this won't affect it Far too many jokers Cross the border Not a single Document in order Russia must be empty Though we're all for Basic human rights It makes you wonder What they built the Berlin Wall for-- Who do these foreign Chappies think they are? And when you've Filled in all the forms And been pa**ed Clear of all disease Debriefed, debugged Dedrugged, disarmed And disinfected, please Don't forget the guys Who cut your keys